Guardsman T-Shirts

Soldier and wife with a baby

A Rigid Sense of Duty.

'I worry a lot.'

"be embarrassed,modom-lots of people have feet your size..."

"I've got to admit it's an impressive helmet, but how do you know it's genuine bear skin?"

The Zoo.

"I can't protect you from everything, but I can read you stories that make you believe I can protect you from everything."

"I got a gold star for going the longest without looking at my phone in class."

"He likes it."

"Stepping on the gown never works. They run faster without it."

"Unfortunately, your son swallowed a great deal of industrial adhesive. But don't worry: Epoxy can be cured."

"Mom, please shake my chair. I'm taking a virtual school bus ride before class begins."

"Talk, Wallace - where'd you hide the loot?"

'Now that's an afro!'

"Tommy!"

High security Santa's grotto

McMorkim's Cheeses Security A gang of mice wheeling in a giant mousetrap with Pizza and Beer as bait to a Security Guard's post hoping to gain access to a cheese Factory if the Guard is trapped.

'Look - a starfish, its manager, its agent, its minders, its significant other, its make-up artist, its personal trainer, its secretary, its astrologer, its feng shui consultant...'

Timmy had one heck of a security blanket.

"Well, I had 'the talk' with him.

Wedding Day Itinerary.

'Where was the TSA?'

'I guess it's not much consolation but I thought your impersonation of the King was a riot.'

'I can't control my anger when people get too close to my kids...'

"Well, young man... just consider yourself grounded!"

'What's wrong with our new shed? Nothing - I'm sat out here guarding it.'

'Can you tell me what I've written? I can't read!'

"I feel like bad guys aren't as scared of me in the summer."

"I need to know who started it."

A Hard Look At Hard Looks

"My mom programmed my toothbrush to follow me until I use it. It's cruel but effective."

dog vs UFO...

'Well, you got the dog to protect you against criminals. Perhaps now you'll have to hire a criminal to protect you from the dog.'

The Hall Of Mirrors Jeretski Palace, Plovdo

'It was an emotional wedding. Even the cake was in tiers.'