Armed Escort T-Shirts

"Cash is tomorrow. Today we're carrying printer ink."

'Look - a starfish, its manager, its agent, its minders, its significant other, its make-up artist, its personal trainer, its secretary, its astrologer, its feng shui consultant...'

Timmy had one heck of a security blanket.

A Hard Look At Hard Looks

Medieval Vacation: 'What? I am relaxed. I'm relaxing!'

Dave cut costs and now realizes that in order to pass inspection, he may have to arrange a marriage between his daughter and the building inspector's son.

You thought YOU hated YOUR job?

'I want you to 'take him for a walk.''

Restraining orders from the stars.

Grim reaper ambulance

'The king wants a gesture, not a jester.'

'What do I do for a living?? Isn't it obvious?'

Bashful Royal Guard

A giant hand identifies giant legs in a police line-up.

Press spy infiltrates Buckingham palace dressed as a guard.

'Do you have an appointment?'

"We don't need a digital security guard. Hackers don't actually come to our house."

"Quick! Turn the siren on!"

'It's a great country kid, anyone can grow up to be security to the president.'

'The neighbors called to complain about your armor squeaking again.'

'...perhaps it is rather tempting fate.'

'Dad, I want to drive an army tank when I'm older.'

"I was about your age when I, too, started having security concerns."

A hard looking dog enters the Bodyguard school

Soldier With Mouse Ears.

Football Security

"I may be a newt, but I'm still King -- find that witch!"

'I'm a marine. This is our new camouflage.'

Dignity and Impudence.

Guarded optimism.

'Quick, turn the siren on!'

Sunburn.

'Look, either tell me your name or the marriage is off.'