Armchair Gardener T-Shirts

'There's nothing he likes better than pulling on an old pair of trousers and pullover and getting stuck in to the Gardening Programme.'

'I'll swear you've been willing that cloudburst on us . . !'

ground force 2

Self-Sufficiency My Arse. He's workshy!

Gardener clipping topiary stairs

Don't forget the hosepipe ban!

Palms. When fully grown that species will provide some nice shade in your your yard. Fronds with benefits.

Garden Goddess.

Bee flying to another flower.

"You've just got to have the biggest and the best, have'nt you?!"

Cats and gardens.

Man cutting hedge next to two heads impaled on sticks. Signs beneath say 'You missed a bit' and 'You can do mine next'.

A gardener sowing flower seeds - and a cat sowing bird seed.

"I'm rooting for the carrots."

Lawnmower

'Hey, wait a minute...Apples aren't indigenous to this geopraphical region.'

Bonsai tree held up by matchstick

'The attendant is very good. I tip him the occasional sparrow.'

'Gosh, I dunno. You sure it's organic?'

'Wait, this isn't Monet's garden, it's Mondrian's.'

Beginning Yarder.

Et in Arcadia Ego

"I think I picked the wrong spot to plant that apple tree."

'Do you mind!!?'

"The parasol certainly paid for itself this summer."

'I'm in the amusingly shaped vegetables department.'

'Remember, we're planting a tree, not burying a bone.'

"The pea's the first vegetable I've ever grown. Can you stuff and mount it for me please?"

Ecology

'So, how much to remove this ugly old tree? $1750. It's not THAT ugly.'

"When I heard they legalized weeds, I wanted to be first on the block to let my lawn go."

"Don't worry, it's not rabies: It's normal for me to foam at the mouth..."

"Who wants to live in a Garden Centre?"

"Sometimes Bob just needs a little motivation to get things done around here!"

The moles have adapted to the winter weather.