Aristocratic Lifestyle Enthusiast Pillows

"f- f- f- fiddlesticks!"

REPENT! Get back to nature

"Life is beautiful, and it's messy."

"The Duke and Duchess of A.T. & T., the Count and Countess of Citicorp, the Earl of Exxon, and the Marchioness of Avco. The Duke of Warnaco..."

"China Ministry of State Security Royal Infiltration Training Unit"

"Can any of us truly see ourselves?"

"Miss Penny to inquire about the tardiness of evening kibble."

Duchess

"Living underground is not what it used to be."

'Is the poodle of the house in?'

"It's said to be haunted by the ghost of the fifth earl, who fell on hard times."

"So what are you the earl of?"

"Her ladyship isn't in—wait, yes, no—so sorry, she's out."

"That's Fred. He was raised by bats..."

"I'm getting something to speed things up, Jenkins. A skateboard."

"I lost 5 pounds and you didn't even notice!"

The Nobility Scooter

'What are they, men or women? I don't know, they're not wearing clothes.'

A House of Lords Reform: 'Please do not take shotguns or dead game into the chamber.'

View Down Ladies' Mile

A cavalier gentleman.

'One day this will be someone else's.'

Marriage a la Mode - Breakfast scene.

'Darling, I'll have my coffee in my den...'

"Why do all butlers say m' lud at the end of every sentence!"

Countess

"And on the floor is the present duchess...."

"No! No! I said 'virgin', NOT 'vegan' !"

'It's a vegetarian cave painting.'

'So, Bjorn, I hear you've gone vegan!'

"Where's the damn bottle-opener?" "It's his day off, sir."

Queen Elizabeth II

"His lordship is unable to answer the phone as he doesn't like to speak with his mouth full..."