Aristocratic Enthusiast Pillows

'He was born with a silver spoon all right, but not in his mouth.'

"The Duke and Duchess of A.T. & T., the Count and Countess of Citicorp, the Earl of Exxon, and the Marchioness of Avco. The Duke of Warnaco..."

"China Ministry of State Security Royal Infiltration Training Unit"

"Can any of us truly see ourselves?"

"Miss Penny to inquire about the tardiness of evening kibble."

Duchess

'Is the poodle of the house in?'

"So what are you the earl of?"

"I may be your page today, but someday, I hope to be the whole book."

"It's said to be haunted by the ghost of the fifth earl, who fell on hard times."

"You think more of Football than you do of me!", "I think more of Earl Spencer than I do of you!!"

"Her ladyship isn't in—wait, yes, no—so sorry, she's out."

"Darling, a rather uncomfortable distance has developed between me and the furniture."

"I'm getting something to speed things up, Jenkins. A skateboard."

The Nobility Scooter

View Down Ladies' Mile

A House of Lords Reform: 'Please do not take shotguns or dead game into the chamber.'

A cavalier gentleman.

'One day this will be someone else's.'

'Now cut the mustard please Loveday.'

Classy Dogs.

'Darling, I'll have my coffee in my den...'

"I told you if you wanted that fur coat sacrifices would have to be made."

"Why do all butlers say m' lud at the end of every sentence!"

"And on the floor is the present duchess...."

Countess

"Where's the damn bottle-opener?" "It's his day off, sir."

Queen Elizabeth II

"His lordship is unable to answer the phone as he doesn't like to speak with his mouth full..."

Butler to child, "Your parents wish to inform you that they love you."

"I was a late bloomer—I didn't inherit my money until my fifties."

Woman on Subway's Thoughts

"I shall require many menservants."

Ladies' Mile

'King? Is that a nickname, like Duke Ellington or Queen Latifah?'