Argument Advocate Gifts

My backup business is really taking off. I've had to hire help. You're still backing up strangers in online arguments for $5 a thread? Of course not. Since demand skyrocketed, I upped my fee big time! I'm now charging $5.25 per thread. I'd have gone higher, but that might cause an adaptive paradigm that could open me up to being undercut on the margin by content providers with comparable deliverables. No matter how much jargon you use, you're still selling yourself short. No, I'm just backwards-

Trial by Media

"It seems my fear of death has been replaced by my fear of politics."

"Of course he's smiling. He's getting $15,000 to give a lecture on free speech."

"No, of course there isn't, 'one law for the rich and another for the poor'... There's no law for the poor."

Annual run-off at the mouth.

Thank you, Essential Workers

"Strawman argument terrorises conversation... News at eleven."

Danae's Career Plans: 'The major product manufactured today is punditry, so I'm honing my argumentative skills to work my way to the top of the blow hard industry..my goal is to become a spin ninja...'

"No way. Lando, my friend. Lando." "There's no way Lando Calrissian was a better betrayer than Alex Krycek." "Ask any passerby on the street. 9 out of 10 of them won't even know who Alex Krycek is." "That's utter foolishness. Everyone knows Alex Krycek. He was basically the X-Files' anti-Mulder. He could out-weasel Billy D. Williams any day." "Stop!" "When men start arguing over which fictional character was a better betrayer, they have officially run out of things to talk about." "That Kr

"My blood pressure stays fine, Doctor, as long as nothing comes between me and my fishing."

"But I see you're having difficulty following my argument."

Slavery Reparations

'Of course, I'm argumentative.. I'm PRE-LAW, for goodness sake!'

Detention Center

"Sorry, we don't hire people with a history of whistle blowing."

Sulk Shows

Prosecution bears the burden of proof. Defense bears the burden of twisting and distorting said proof.

Okay, I'll admit I was wrong. But I won't say what I was wrong about.

The problem is, too many people aren't the least bit particular about their arrows.

Oz Debating Society. You can't refute everything I say just by call it a "straw man" argument.

Human Rights for All

Justice 4 Ron

"It's something new I've been trying. Social scientists call it 'Productive Disagreement.'"

"They're class action figures."

'He started it!'

Boss and worker communicating in exclaimation marks.

The truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth.

"O.K., I admit it, we're lost, but the important thing is to remain focussed on whose fault it is."

"'Disability benefits' they said... Not while there are perfectly good jobs as traffic cones to be had!"

"This is ridiculous! I say we get back on speaking terms!!"

The scales between gluttony and hunger

"Why don't we compromise... you admit I'm right and I'll agree with you."

'Why can't you just think irrationally every once in a while?'

'It was definitely a bang. You heard it, I heard it, end of discussion.'