Arborist At Heart T-Shirts

"I brought you coffee. Sorry it’s cold."

"First time pruning?"

'I had a wonderful garden last year. Bark beetles, aphids, mealy worms, thripes, wax seal, gray mold, and grubs!'

"Stop the drama. Take that wig off and wait 'till spring like everyone else."

"Can you tell the oak tree to tell the birch tree to tell the elm tree I said hi?"

"We mustn't interfere, Larry. Just let nature take its course."

Do you have anything bigger?

"If this Goliath bloke is as big as they say, I can just hang around the forest until he's gone."

"I brought cocoa."

The native sweet bay species will make a beautiful grove. They'll give you pleasure and increase your house value! Tree's tree nursery. Hmm

Zoo animals.

Stop and Birch

'Mom, Dad... we found out that in a previous life, Sheila was a dog and I was a tree. That's why we decided to marry to continue this promising relationship!'

"Today, son, you are a man."

Tree Mobsters. 'I didn't hear anything. Did you hear anything?' 'I didn't hear anything.'

'Hmm ... wonder how much ivory fetches these days.'

'So, how much to remove this ugly old tree? $1750. It's not THAT ugly.'

"Plus $600 for delivery."

"Before I start. . . . are you sure pruning doesn't violate the tree's rights?"

Well, I'll be...Dutch Elm Disease!

"Al Gore happens to be a friend of mine."

Welcome back! What a day! As you can see, our tree has been heavily pruned, but the kind arborist has saved our nest...

"Nice work, doctor. Where did you complete your resin-dency?"

"Geez, Dude. I asked for a slight trim. Not a Brazilian wax."

Tree Squirrel

"How do you know it's my leaves clogging the shower drain?"

The very popular sport of White Water Grafting (competitors grafting branches to trees while fighting water rapids).

"Let's hope it'll work!"

Two men driving truck that says, 'Tree surgeons without borders'.

No tree hugging.

Frank and Ernest Nursery. We sell mature trees. Come in for a shady deal. Uh, Ernie, about this sign you put out.

"I will avenge you, Father."

"It's called being preemptive."

"The best laid plans of mice and men... differ materially in their objectives."

"I love trees."