Arborist At Heart T-Shirts

"I brought you coffee. Sorry it’s cold."

"First time pruning?"

'I had a wonderful garden last year. Bark beetles, aphids, mealy worms, thripes, wax seal, gray mold, and grubs!'

"Stop the drama. Take that wig off and wait 'till spring like everyone else."

"Can you tell the oak tree to tell the birch tree to tell the elm tree I said hi?"

Do you have anything bigger?

"We mustn't interfere, Larry. Just let nature take its course."

"I brought cocoa."

"If this Goliath bloke is as big as they say, I can just hang around the forest until he's gone."

Zoo animals.

'Mom, Dad... we found out that in a previous life, Sheila was a dog and I was a tree. That's why we decided to marry to continue this promising relationship!'

Stop and Birch

"Today, son, you are a man."

'Hmm ... wonder how much ivory fetches these days.'

Tree Mobsters. 'I didn't hear anything. Did you hear anything?' 'I didn't hear anything.'

'So, how much to remove this ugly old tree? $1750. It's not THAT ugly.'

"Plus $600 for delivery."

"Before I start. . . . are you sure pruning doesn't violate the tree's rights?"

Tree Squirrel

"Al Gore happens to be a friend of mine."

Welcome back! What a day! As you can see, our tree has been heavily pruned, but the kind arborist has saved our nest...

"Geez, Dude. I asked for a slight trim. Not a Brazilian wax."

"Nice work, doctor. Where did you complete your resin-dency?"

Well, I'll be...Dutch Elm Disease!

The very popular sport of White Water Grafting (competitors grafting branches to trees while fighting water rapids).

"How do you know it's my leaves clogging the shower drain?"

"Let's hope it'll work!"

Two men driving truck that says, 'Tree surgeons without borders'.

"It's called being preemptive."

"I will avenge you, Father."

No tree hugging.

"The best laid plans of mice and men... differ materially in their objectives."

"I love trees."

"I am the chosen one!"