Arborist T-Shirts

Stupid Tree Surgeon.

'So, how much to remove this ugly old tree? $1750. It's not THAT ugly.'

"That sliver has really taken root. You'll need to see an arborist."

"Plus $600 for delivery."

'Don't worry - it's all bark and no bite!'

The very popular sport of White Water Grafting (competitors grafting branches to trees while fighting water rapids).

County Arborist truck runs of road into the only tree for miles around.

Types of Willow Trees: Weeping, Freaked Out, Post-Nap and Super-Toned.

"We figure out real quick who's gonna make it as a tree surgeon."

"Before I start. . . . are you sure pruning doesn't violate the tree's rights?"

"It's okay...It just thinks it has Dutch Elm Disease!"

"With our patented technolgy, you'll be able to keep your leaves year-round."

Phantom Limb Syndrome

"Now, nobody fall while I'm gone because I won't hear it."

Two men driving truck that says, 'Tree surgeons without borders'.

"Let's hope it'll work!"

Gardening Tips - training fruit trees can greatly increase their yield

"You were very brave."

"Just a little off the top and shape the back."

"Geez, Dude. I asked for a slight trim. Not a Brazilian wax."

"I told you before, Joe. . . you need to keep your work and personal life separate!"

"I'd swear it moved just now..!!"

"The disease is quite far along. . . I'm sorry, but you can kiss your ASH goodbye!"

Tree Crash: Tree Care Specialist

Welcome back! What a day! As you can see, our tree has been heavily pruned, but the kind arborist has saved our nest...

"Al Gore happens to be a friend of mine."

"It's okay, it only thinks it has Dutch Elm Disease!"

"I appreciate it's annoying Sir, but short of cutting it down there's not a lot I can do. It's not unusual for trees to have bark."

"First time pruning?"

"The disease is quite far along...I'm sorry, but you can kiss your ASH goodbye!"

"I love this tree almost as much as I love you."

'Tree Doctor,' 'Tree Lawyer' and 'Tree CPA.'

"I love trees."

"The biopsy came back benign.....but I still want you to see a tree surgeon."

The tree doctor.