Arachnophilia Appreciator Pillows

After immobilising it's prey, the Tasmanian Death Spider prefers to suck out the innards with a bendy straw.

Support group therapy for male black widow spiders.

A spider is afraid of another spider's mask.

Moses' Tablet

Yeah, it's funny, but you'll see, in this house, it's the guy who screams the loudest...

"Right here's fine."

'I made your favorite for dinner — pterodactyl nuggets!'

"There is a 5 month slow down. You are still on the fastest route. You will arrive next year."

"I think I'm in the wrong kind of spin class!"

"I'm just gonna reach in my back pocket real slow-like and turn off my ringer."

'This 'Hamlet' thing you're working on... Do you think you could write in a part for Lady Godiva?!'

"Well, you said you wanted something to remove spiders from the bath!"

Brown Non-Recluse Spider

Unwelcome guests can be caught and thrown out...there is no need to kill them.

"It's alright for you, female worms are everywhere, but when was the last time you saw a Mummy-Long-Legs?"

"Of all my husbands I believe the first one tasted the best."

"Things get more interesting at noon."

"It was a slow day - my pedometer says I only put in 1, 273, 426 steps."

"Now, cover your second, fourth and seventh eyes and read the next line."

'There he goes over the bag limit again!'

"We apologise for the late arrival of the ten-eighteen..."

'Reallly Miss Jones...all this fuss over a silly little spider!'

"Arachnophunnies"

"What do I remember about my mother? Well, for starters, she was delicious."

'What luck!'

The Lesser Pyramids

"I do appreciate that it eats other bugs, but it also ate my husband."

"This one is really gonna blow their minds."

Black Widow Diet

'Do you have any wine from the Ming dynasty?'

'Visit my website.'

'I'm sorry, but we are after a different kind of Web expert...'

'I'm sorry, but we are after a different kind of Web expert...'