Arachnophobe Humor Appreciators Pillows

'You should have been there. All I did was sit down beside her.'

"This is a lovely old song that tells of a young woman who leaves her cottage, and goes off to work. She arrives at her destination, and places some solid NHHS in a flask containing 0.50 atm ofammonia, and attempts to determine the pressures of ammonia and hydrogen sulide when equilibrium is reached."

A spider is afraid of another spider's mask.

'What's our stockbroker doing in the shower? Quick! Run and get me a rolled up copy of the Wall Street Journal!'

Little Miss Muffet's Graduation.

'Bernice . . . could you come in here please? Bring a can of hairspray and a cigarette lighter!'

"It's not you, Glen—it's your ex-wife. She's behind me, isn't she?"

'I hope you'll excuse the pajamas. They save time when people leave.'

'Don't hurt it.'

Horror

'He won't go back into his house until I check to make sure the spider is gone.'

'My mother is a black widow, my wife is a black widow...'

After immobilising it's prey, the Tasmanian Death Spider prefers to suck out the innards with a bendy straw.

'Yes - He's armed.'

Spider Horror Movies

'You've been drinking again.'

'I've found this lump on my testicle, would you like to have a look?'

"You know humans eat eight of us in their sleep every year."

"AA-ARGH!"

A woman referred to me as "you people" last night � I hate that expression. As a wolverine, I have mixed feelings about it.

After being frightened away too many times, Miss Muffett decided to rif herself of the spider.

Arachnophobia training.

Shipwreaked man rejecting desert island because of a spider

"Okay, Mr. Nerdmyer, I'm just going to give you a little stress test!"

"You didn't believe her when she said there was a giant spider in the bathtub, did you?"

'Oh wow, Gary Player, shake my hand,'

'And this is the lesser-known: 'It made me scream''.

Ever since he was a little magazine, he had been deathly afraid of spiders, and he didn't like where this was going,

'Gah! Spider!' - 'Arghhh!' - 'Oh, hello insomnia.'

At the Ice Pick Test dept.

"Take one thousand steps backward, turn, and fire."

"I'm tellin ya, Ed, those things sure give me the heebie-jeebies."

"Stop it! That's creepy..."

"Now you wouldn't want me to go through life without experiencing the joys of Father's Day... would you?

"You wrote asking for a sex manual?"