Arachnophile's Nightmare Gifts

"Well, it's not the crawling through dark and dirty places that freaks me out: it's the cobwebs..."

A spider is afraid of another spider's mask.

"I think I'm in the wrong kind of spin class!"

"Well, you said you wanted something to remove spiders from the bath!"

'Bernice . . . could you come in here please? Bring a can of hairspray and a cigarette lighter!'

'What's our stockbroker doing in the shower? Quick! Run and get me a rolled up copy of the Wall Street Journal!'

Little Miss Muffet's Graduation.

"I won't bring any more friends home unless you let me play with them first!"

"I wish I had known you have arachnophobia before I paid."

"Really Miss Jones...all this fuss over a silly little spider!"

"Great location. Let's check it out."

'Don't hurt it.'

'My mother is a black widow, my wife is a black widow...'

'He won't go back into his house until I check to make sure the spider is gone.'

'If you can read this, call the missing kids' hotline.'

Horror

"Don't kill it. The eat bugs."

'That's right! No huffing a puffing for 30 minutes on a treadmill. We've developed a new stress test that is faster and more accurate.'

'Honey, that spider's in the bath again!'

What really frightened Miss Muffet away,

'You've been drinking again.'

Spider Horror Movies

So how long have you had this fear of spiders ?

"I see spiders on Mars! Do you know what that means? "we need to send an exterminator?"

Lady reads book about beating phobias.

Judge about to hit spider with mallet.

"AA-ARGH!"

"You know humans eat eight of us in their sleep every year."

After being frightened away too many times, Miss Muffett decided to rif herself of the spider.

'Dang, I'm sick of telling stupid kids that I'm not radioactive and that even if I did bite them, they wouldn't become a superhero!'

Arachnophobia training.

'I hate you, Al.'

'Now, Mrs. Jenkins, I'm going to try a slightly different approach to deal with your fear of spiders!'

Shipwreaked man rejecting desert island because of a spider

'On the other hand it does have a certain charm'