Aquatic Guardian Gifts

"The fish was from the wild and apparently something was wrong with the water. . . you should have added microplastics, some waste oil and industrial effluent."

"Now they're referring to us as ecology nuts."

How can I enjoy that clean, fresh, salt air when I'm up to my neck in garbage?

"I have to refill it everyday. He has a tendency to retain water."

"It's a new year, and I have a brand new attitude. Which way is it to San Diego Sea World?"

"For goodness sake, not again, it's day-time but we can't see the sky: It must be another oil spill..."

Al, why is my goldfish zigzagging? Perhaps sharing my beer with him was a case of misplaced generosity on my part.

"I tell ya - if I ever stop moving, I'll die."

"It's a recipe called no-cook fish chowder."

Overeaters anonymous meeting today at 5:00.

Fish want out of polluted river.

"Plastic straws. No fish were spared in the making of this product."

"Sometimes, plastic in the ocean isn't bad... Ooh, that bottle cap will make a lovely bowl for Ed and Nicole!"

'So what have you been up to?'

'I said: Leave my son alone!'

"Ooo... she sounds nice... 'I enjoy burying myself in the sand and sideways walks on the beach.'"

Bottled water straight from the Potomac, Congo and Ganges. Bottled waters that never had much market share.

"Tempting, but I'm on a plastic cleanse this week."

Taking goldfish for a walk.

Earth Day Summit.

"Well, you know what they say —'The water's always bluer on the other side of the trash fence.'"

"I think we are overfeeding the fish!"

"This place could use a moat!"

Incognito Bonito - 'I don't know me, but I do know you!'

Ofwat Sewage Scrutiny

"We wish we could drink the water."

'Fish store' 'All our products are dolphin-safe, whale-safe, turtle-safe, seahorse-safe.'

'I've been tagged by a whaling commission, some environment people, a naval research team, a fishing group,some zoologists...'

"Can you imagine the start they give their own offspring?"

'Do you make fish cakes? It's his birthday!'

OH NO - Here come the wet-wipes..!!!

"No not the puppy please"

'Eye response, normal.' - Deer Physicals.

"This isn't what I had in mind, when you said you were going to buy me some waterfront property."

'But I thought this pond was bottomless.'