Aptly Appreciative Gifts

Microwave - 'Table 19 sends compliments to the chef!'

'I really enjoyed my stay in the hospital - I never get served breakfast in bed at home.'

Road sign: 'No Passing Zone... This, too, shall pass.'

Hot cross buns

"Mom, this is Sarah, the friend I was telling you about."

Ask Sadie! I just read an article where Daisy Ridley said J.J. Abrams wrote drafts for Episode VIII and Episode IX. And then Rian Johnson THREW THAT OUT and went a whole different direction. This makes me lose all faith in Star Wars. Am I overreacting? **Actual reader question. Excellent question. This reminds me of the time I saw Gone with the Wind on opening day. I was the invited guest of an elderly veteran of the Civil War. He couldn't stop yammering about how seceding from the union didn't

"Can you recommend something for the attorney who got me everything?"

"Just because your mother devoured your siblings and not you didn't mean she valued you any less. She was just full."

"This is to apologise for the delay in internal mail that you wrote to us about in 1997"

"I can't believe school ends in three months! Sometimes I wish it would never end. But I guess endings make you appreciate the present."

Mother's Day: 2nd Sunday in May, Others Day: Every day before and after the 2nd Sunday in May.

Very sorry

"I'm sorry I called you boring."

Sue Perkins

'...if you look at it in the right way it begins to make sense.'

"Your mother's going to be up there all day, kids. One of her students said her class meant everything to her!"

"Without the drone we wouldn't have made it on time!"

Thanks for the memories!

Alternative Thanksgiving Day Parade Balloons

"That's Fred's Case History."

'Are we there yet?'

'There, but for the grace of God, go I.'

"What a beautiful day."

"For the hundredth time, I'm sorry. It was dark, I was working fast..."

Par-tay!

Christmas Joy, Peace and Goodwill.

'We knew you'd be embarrassed with a Tiffany bracelet or a Mulberry handbag.'

"There'll be a little wait - would you like to have a drink at the bar?"

What's your question for "Ask Sadie"? Are you voting for Trump or Clinton? Excellent question. It reminds me of the time in grade school when little Chester Oswald threw my liverwurst sandwich on the ground. The schoolmarm gave me a terrible choice: I could either eat the dirt-covered sandwich, or I could go hungry. So I chose the only thing I could choose ... I switched my sandwich with hers, and when she yakked up her lunch I laughed and laughed. So ... you're saying ... what?

"Today, we give thanks for all we've had in the past...everything we enjoy today...and everything coming our way."

"Sorry I called you a tw*t. I didn't mean it really."

Railtrack Regrets - Fill in what you like

'A contribution to me in a friend's name would make a very nice Christmas gift, pal.'

'I got into this business to help people, not recognition, but a thanks or a friendly wave once in a while would be nice...'

The Eternal Optimist: Smiley Face grocery bag in the garbage, saying, 'Thank You'.