Appointments Aficionado Gifts

'He's really very busy but you can wait.'

Prize vegetables.

"The trend in tough economic times is to put off everything that doesn't require immediate action ? as this chart shows."

Allotment

'Now, keep in mind that these numbers are only as accurate as the fictitious data, ludicrous assumptions and wishful thinking they're based upon!'

"Call me?"

'You wouldn't happen to be sitting on my entry to the straightest runner bean competition?'

'I know we're inchworms, but let's get into the spirit of this! Change is good!'

'It's a novel based on a movie adapted from a magazine article that was inspired by a video game.'

'You'll enjoy our staff meetings. We always begin and end with the product.'

This is NOT 'nipping out'.

"Most women find me too cutthroat."

"I'll be honest with you, I've been around the block a few times."

"It's touching, actually, to see white dudes fumble around for a few last moments in the spotlight."

Today, proud and accomplished the career woman re-enters the dating world, ready at last to meet the man of her dreams. . .

"Sorry I'm late: my parents insisted I wear protection on our first date, so I stopped to buy a flea-collar..."

Banana Smoothie

"Since my divorce I thought I'd never laugh again. Then I noticed your toupee."

And this one i got for properly polishing my medals.

'Lost Diary'

'Right, moving on to the housekeeping...'

"Our first order of business will be the new speed bump in the parking lot."

'Introducing one of our top salesmen despite his old age. . .'

'I grow all our tomatoes. I grow all our spinach. All you do is complain about the cost of my twice weekly manicures.'

"Appointments. Disappointments."

"I'm gonna talk to her. How's my breath?"

"Starting here, each person whisper to your neighbor the purpose of this meeting and we'll see what we end up with."

'Mr. Bigmeister likes to start each meeting with the pledge of allegiance.'

"The difference between a great guy and a total loser? I'd say it's about this much Merlot."

'I met the greatest guy! He's sweet, he's handsome, and his insurance policy is Equity Indexed Whole Life!'

HornyWood

"Call a meeting, Miss Pendleton. I want to hear some Corporate Creole."

"Looks like Rick's scored."

'Make me a bunch of appointments that I won't be able to keep.'

A woman bows to the crowd