Applying For Visa Pillows

Bureaucratic immigration procedures

"Fill out an application? Can't I just text it?"

"Still, diving for it would look good on my college application.

'I'm afraid you don't have the leadership qualities we're seeking.'

I'm getting ready to apply for college. Do you have a list of party schools?

"So what makes you think you're the man for the job?"

'This scholarship application is great. You must have received an A in creative writing.'

Novak Djokovic has his visa denied to play in Australia as he is unvaccinated

Three little pigs-mortgage.

"Hey, there's Sara, padding her college-entrance résumé!"

Look! There's a photo of our eco club's Earth Day actions in the newspaper! Sports. Power up the green machine!! I could use more copies. Me too. They're going to really power up my college applications.

'I wish his guidance counselor spent more time on college plans and less time suggesting names for his band.'

'If you are not careful, son, you will be mathematically eliminated from all of the Ivy League schools.'

"I didn't bring a resume. I brought coffee and donuts."

What do you think of the application so far?

"What? You like political cartoons??! You won't get a visa!"

"RAF Recruitment Waiting Room."

'It's a private school. Can't say which one, it's private.'

Bureaucratic Position Interview

',,,and you can name your salary as long as it falls within our range of underpaid employees,'

"The extent of your extracurricular activities in high school, may very well be participation in regular program of oral hygiene using an effective decay preventaative tooth paste, but that won't get you into a good university."

"The counselor wasn't much help about getting into college. All he said was to study hard and get good grades."

"Lenders are a lot more cautious about 'interest free' mortgages these days. "

'Ready?!'

'Forget my mortgage application, fill this bag with money. I've decided to make a cash offer!'

'This resume is incredible. Would you be able to lie this well under pressure?'

"This is incredible! I thought Amelia Earhart was dead."

'Call this one -I like short resumes.'

"I'd like to apply for the work-study program."

'I'm sorry...we're not sure you're self obsessed enough.'

1/2 Full Foundation: Optimists only need apply.

"The position includes three weeks holiday per year."

"Start Monday...I like the cut of your jib, young man"

'Yale's my first choice but any ivy school will do.'

Wow! Look at all these college brochures. You're soo popular! The top colleges in the country want me to apply! Um, Twig. You know they're trolling for applicants to boost their stupid rankings. That's ok. At least I'll be rejected by the very best! You can visit me at Harvard.