Applying For Citizenship Pillows

The IMPORTANT thing is that we only accept the people who'll fit in!'

'Pushing to the front of the queue is an automatic fail, I'm afraid, Mr. Singh.'

US Immigration and Naturalization Service: If you're yearning to breath free...Get Out.

"Still, diving for it would look good on my college application.

"Anachronism or not, it just ain't the fourth without the ribs and Willie Nelson."

I'm getting ready to apply for college. Do you have a list of party schools?

"In my own country I didn't drive a taxi."

'This scholarship application is great. You must have received an A in creative writing.'

Netanyahu versus Gantz

"Hey, there's Sara, padding her college-entrance résumé!"

Look! There's a photo of our eco club's Earth Day actions in the newspaper! Sports. Power up the green machine!! I could use more copies. Me too. They're going to really power up my college applications.

'I wish his guidance counselor spent more time on college plans and less time suggesting names for his band.'

'If you are not careful, son, you will be mathematically eliminated from all of the Ivy League schools.'

"What? You like political cartoons??! You won't get a visa!"

"Well, it all depends. Where are these huddled masses coming from?"

"The counselor wasn't much help about getting into college. All he said was to study hard and get good grades."

'I know I can train them to be thoughtful productive citizens if I can ever get past sit.'

"I'd like to apply for the work-study program."

Latinos in the USA

Half French/half English.

'I'm sorry...we're not sure you're self obsessed enough.'

Wow! Look at all these college brochures. You're soo popular! The top colleges in the country want me to apply! Um, Twig. You know they're trolling for applicants to boost their stupid rankings. That's ok. At least I'll be rejected by the very best! You can visit me at Harvard.

'If you aren't careful, son, you'll be mathematically eliminated from all of the Ivy League schools.'

Citizenship test no 17, 'the t-shirt over head'.

'Yale's my first choice but any ivy school will do.'

'I'm sorry but we don't have athletic scholarships for video games.'

As he picked up the video game controller, the trap was sprung, and Ryan's mother forced him to fill out college applications.

'I see that you're a fully integrated immigrant to this country.'

Passport Photo

"I used to be 'Unemployed Larry." But no more! Now I am 'Citizen Larry,' and over the next few months I will seek the bright light and open spaces of this beautiful country and ask for the wise counsel of its people."

"Aaack! How did an unscheduled hour get on your calendar? This will not look good on your college application."

We know being raised by wolves isn't ideal, but think of the amazing essay you'll have on your college application!

American Flag

Statue of liberty holding a lighter

'How would Jesus register?'