Application Aficionado Gifts

"What made this guy stand out?" "He applied."

I'm casting my eye over your application as we speak...

"Simplified application form? . . . This IS the simplified application form!"

Robots search for people's personal information in the cloud.

'It's called 'Oh Bugger It!' if you must know!'

"I guess it's ethical. Let me run it through my 'Ethics Check' app."

"There's smart phones and smart cars, so why can't there be smart rooms that clean themselves?"

"Meet the author"

'First you forget logarithms. Then you forget how to do long division. Then the multiplication table begins to go...'

"He's taught himself work-life balance."

"After the show, I'll be autographing any computer or phone screens where my albums are streamed."

"I need a deeper access to his brain. Only google has the records."

'If only every year was an election year.'

'...and in 1/100000 of a second, it can compound the programmer's error 87,500 times.'

"If you're smart enough to design a robot to do your homework, then you're certainly smart enough to just do your homework."

'Let me see your portfolio of stolen ideas.'

"Hey, remember a few days ago, when all this was unacceptable?"

'Oh, and this ringtone is an app that alerts me when a fly ball is headed my way.'

Driverless cars rage.

"Artificial intelligence is no match for natural stupidity."

Child's Drawing (With Elephantiasis)

'Which sounds better: 'now with MORE XZ100' or 'now with LESS XZ100'?'

"I can't find my other boot. I need to be rebooted."

"I fear one day our jobs will be taken over by technology."

"Since he got that thing, he mostly just kills time."

"Listen to this: 'Technology reduces the time we spend on a given task, but increases the number of tasks we're expected to do.' Sounds like a no-win situation to me!"

'I know we're inchworms, but let's get into the spirit of this! Change is good!'

'It's a novel based on a movie adapted from a magazine article that was inspired by a video game.'

"What did you download at school today?"

"But if you change your system preferences to match mine, is it really love?"

'Yes, it computed the answer in a bilionth of a second and printed it instantly, but until I find my glasses...'

'Ugh! Another oil puddle in the living room – bad robot dog!'

"He's the best our AI recruitment algorithm could fund, unfortunately our AI is really stupid."

"It said this 'Spilt Coffee' series afforded her a lifetime of lattes."

"Ralph's smart car not only drives better than he does, it also works better. So we fired him and hired the car."