Appliance Care Pillows

'Did you notice I've oiled your food mixer?'

Washing machine maintenance

It's a male thing - I saw a toaster with power assist, and I bought it.

'A religious zealot denounces a toaster for working on the Sabbath'

'Does this thing get channel four.'

"Store policy is that I need a note from your wife."

'Shall we turn the extractor fan down a bit...?'

The world's most unemployable family

"And it comes with a coin filter for when you vacuum under the cushions."

"This is our high-traffic, reinforced, heavy-duty model."

"Here’s your problem. This isn’t a ‘Franklin’ stove, it’s a ‘Voltaire.’"

Moe's Fix-It Shop - No Heroic Measures

"My kitchen is very small. Do you have any with doors that swing in?"

'I was walking past the washers and dryers and one of my socks disappeared.'

'So you just dry stuff? That's cool, I guess. I mean, it's not like there's some mystical force that could do that for you, like, I don't know... evaporation.'

When it came to appliance repairs...Joe wasn't one to mince his words!

'Of course, the self-cleaning models tend to cost a little more.'

"Can you weaken the spring or something? -- It keeps knocking my coffee over."

'Wow, that really was concentrated dish soap.'

'It's just some 'Stir 'n' Blend', 'Bake 'n' Slice', 'Mix 'n' Broil', Chop 'n' Simmer and 'Pour 'n' Serve.'

"Look at it this way -- in three years your roof could leak."

'You say your picture's funny?...I'm surprised you got a picture at all. That's a microwave oven!'

Appliance Theatre

'Maybe I shouldn't put 'instant cooling' on maximum.'

Dellson's refrigerator door seal repairs.

'Hand over all your money or the toaster gets it!'

A toaster plays fetch

'Got any changing rooms to try this one on?'

'Why can't you guys be more like the hot water heater, who may pay for itself in two years.'

'This one is more expensive, but it comes with factory installed door art and notes.'

'Of course, the one you buy would be upright. This is just the floor model.'