Apple Advocate Pillows

The Secret Thoughts of Trees

'An apple a day may keep the doctor away but I prefer to rely on few antipersonnel mines in the garden to do the job.'

Trial by Media

"It seems my fear of death has been replaced by my fear of politics."

"Of course he's smiling. He's getting $15,000 to give a lecture on free speech."

"No, of course there isn't, 'one law for the rich and another for the poor'... There's no law for the poor."

Newton discovers gravity and apple sauce in the same day.

Thank you, Essential Workers

Tree Passion

Adam and Eve toast next to a serpent bartender.

Detention Center

The problem is, too many people aren't the least bit particular about their arrows.

"They're class action figures."

Human Rights for All

The discovery of gravity is put on hold after a chance encounter by William Tell and Isaac Newton.

The first microscope capable of seeing the number of angels dancing on the head of a pin.

' Oh no! I'm being repossessed! '

Garden of Eden and scrumping

The truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth.

'They never let you forget that your intellectual property belongs to them.'

"'Disability benefits' they said... Not while there are perfectly good jobs as traffic cones to be had!"

The scales between gluttony and hunger

"Who knew we'd be a desirable demographic?"

"What the... an apple?! Hey, I can make schnapps out of it and if you've had plenty of it, gravity pulls you to the ground!"

"I'd like to report a case of historical sexual abuse in the sixties. I'd like to - but I can't!"

'How the serpent tempted Eve.'

"I thought I'd try a Marie Antoinette for a change."

"Gerald Beeman? Eighteen years ago you were driving through Connecticut and threw an apple out the window. That apple landed in a field alongside I-95 and . . . well . . . I think I'm your son."

Newton's more mundane brother - "That reminds me I must get some apples."

An apple a day.

"Deal! I'll introduce you to Dian Fossey and you'll introduce me to Jane Goodall!"

Violence against children.

Newton regretted dabbling in genetic modification.

"Do you have these apples in green?"