Appearance Anxieties Gifts

"I'm devastated...I found a long grey hair on his suit this morning. Instead of lying and telling me he had another woman, the b**stard points out that it's one of mine!"

That party went well.

"I think I'm having pre-traumatic stress disorder."

"Say, when did you get so fluff?"

'Of course she hasn't aged a bit. She's married to a plastic surgeon!'

'Well, Eddy may look a bit rough, but he's good at heart - last week, he bought stocks from a company which produces cuddly puppy toys in pink ballet dresses!'

Nervous at a party.

A bald eagle approaches middle age

'I wasn't the smartest guy in the room, but I had the whitest teeth!'

"Is it my imagination, or does our use of correction fluid increase as people's teeth get whiter?"

'A neighbour of mine has just come in - put 'em in a size 4 box, will you?'

"It's just a little device I use to help relieve the anxiety from meeting new people."

'Try not to stare. Father Time hot hair plugs and botox.'

'Sometimes I wonder how things would have turned out, if I'd gotten Mom's eyes and Dad's hair.'

"Do you have something cheap but with a really expensive label?"

"So all these years you never did yoga but just walked around carrying the mat?"

"Wig or the wisp?"

"Height is the only thing I'm capable of changing about myself."

"This was the closest I could get to being invisible."

"His last wish was that we delete his browsing history."

"Actually, I don't read much, they're just background for my video calls."

'Anything else you want fixing, while I'm taking the mole off your nose?'

"The gentleman opposite would like to buy you more time."

Arrival in the New World was a stressful time for the pilgrims on the Wallflower.

"You should have told me you needed advice."

Ew, I look terrible! Take one more!

Do you have hair, um, rinses that look natural? Of course! So that no one notices? Ahem! Oh, right

"I'm not so much interested in 'wellness' as I am 'swellness'."

'You are my best work.'

"Hello... I will be your instructor for this assertiveness training course... that is... I mean... if you don't mind!"

"Let's go somewhere fun and not really experience it."

"Oh, the pain I can take—it's the awkward silence between conversations that's torture."

Hairstyles to hide big ears

'Who told you you couldn't change your spots Miss Leopards? Of course you can...'

Now playing... everything you said at the party.