App-loving Dog Owner Gifts

'There's an APP that does those old tricks now.'

"They didn't want to be identified in my photo, so I blurred their butts."

"I wasn't howling at the moon. I was singing along to my iPod."

I'm beginning to regret buying that Roomba.

"Lori, I can’t talk right now — I’m right in the middle of updating my dog’s Facebook page."

"Instead of wagging my tail, running around and jumping all over you, I sent you an E-card."

'Fetching newspapers is over. Now I aggregate blogs for him.'

"Here comes the quote unquote dog whisperer."

Facebook For Dogs.

"DID YOU SEND THIS?"

"Look, you got mail! Press the 'fetch' key."

"Ok, maybe this isn't happening."

'I've been hired by a zoologist to keep a detailed blog of my daily life,,,'

A dog and a robot dog

"What, again? You've gotta be kidding me!"

His Master's Data.

'I haven't hand colored eggs in years.'

"Rexie was just a click away from securing his owner a risk-free, high return investment, and a tummy rub for himself..."

Labradrone

Micro-chipped cat talks in binary.

'Did you read my email about Timmy falling down the well?'

"I'm too lazy to chase cars. Thanks to phones, I now just track them."

"He created Bitecoin."

"No, no, no. Double-click to open. I'll walk you through it one more time. Go get your leash."

Thanks to the kitty-cam, curiosity no longer kills the cat.

"Now watch this, bark recognition."

Tinder

Man tried to get dog to go for a walk.

"You mean you leaked his password because he uses my name as his password instead of yours?"

"These days, I don't eat homework. I just install ransomware."

Distracted dog walker.

"Are you getting a signal up there?"

"Sure, e-mail is faster . . . but I miss biting the mailman!"

"Please – I promise I’ll walk him, feed him, and manage his social media platforms."

'Polly wants on-line.'