App Addicts Gifts

Accident App

"Let me just check my email, my texts, my missed calls, Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, WhatsApp, my credit score, my horoscope, the results of this latest personality test, the S. & P., the Dow, the news, this article about cute dogs, and the weather, and then we can go."

"Really? They're now giving out non-participation trophies?"

"You know, there are other emojis."

#Whyneighborsdon'tknowtheirneighbors

"Since he got that thing, he mostly just kills time."

"Nature speaks to me of God’s presence, yet God is a total stranger to the restless world of men." "Why the #!@* is there no signal?!"

"Isn't there an app for this?"

'The secret to great wealth and spiritual contentment? Ok, hold on...I think I've got an app for that..'

'I need a life saving app. I need a life saving app.'

Knight in armor is using his jousting pole as a selfie stick.

"If you're trying to find yourself, Mr. Ludlow, just ping your phone."

"I neeeeeeed neeeeeeed neeeeeeed my iPhone!"

"I wrote this one after my third startup failed. It’s called ‘I Got Yer App Right Here.’"

God's Phone

'It's my own fault. I never upgraded my skills. I was replaced by a man half my age with a more advanced smartphone and hundreds of productive apps.'

"Noooooooooooo!"

"It's an app that lets me know when I'm bored."

'Okay, I'm going to make the phone ring just once, and I want you to refrain from picking up. Bite the towel if you have to.

"Your driver will arrive in 4...9...17 minutes after three accidental loops around the airport."

Today's love

"I've downloaded an app to hire and fire people."

'This app is linked to my financial advisor and provides stimulated hand-holding when the market is down.'

"Why would I want to see anything that far away from my phone?"

"Maybe you need some kind of app to make it work."

Modern Narcissism

"The battle of Gettysburg? Uh. . . let me check my civil war app."

'... and finally, before tip-off, let's all be courteous and turn off our cell phones.'