App Addicts Prints

Accident App

"Let me just check my email, my texts, my missed calls, Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, WhatsApp, my credit score, my horoscope, the results of this latest personality test, the S. & P., the Dow, the news, this article about cute dogs, and the weather, and then we can go."

"Really? They're now giving out non-participation trophies?"

"You know, there are other emojis."

#Whyneighborsdon'tknowtheirneighbors

"Since he got that thing, he mostly just kills time."

"Nature speaks to me of God’s presence, yet God is a total stranger to the restless world of men." "Why the #!@* is there no signal?!"

"Pokemon...Pokemon...Pokemon...."

"Isn't there an app for this?"

Addicted to Facebook...lost internet connection.

'The secret to great wealth and spiritual contentment? Ok, hold on...I think I've got an app for that..'

Knight in armor is using his jousting pole as a selfie stick.

'I need a life saving app. I need a life saving app.'

It's important to women that a man has a good relationship with his mother. Why's that? House of Java .Net Cybercafe. Because how a man treats his mother is a good indicator of how he'll treat a girlfriend. That's why I created an app that calls your phone and displays a photo of you hugging your mom whenever a gorgeous lady is within three feet of you. It also displays a nice, sweet lady whenever you're within three feet of your mom.

"I neeeeeeed neeeeeeed neeeeeeed my iPhone!"

Happiness is spending late summer afternoon on a buying binge at the iPhone app store.

"If you're trying to find yourself, Mr. Ludlow, just ping your phone."

"I wrote this one after my third startup failed. It’s called ‘I Got Yer App Right Here.’"

God's Phone

The Smartass Phone

'It's my own fault. I never upgraded my skills. I was replaced by a man half my age with a more advanced smartphone and hundreds of productive apps.'

"Your driver will arrive in 4...9...17 minutes after three accidental loops around the airport."

"It's an app that lets me know when I'm bored."

"Noooooooooooo!"

"I've downloaded an app to hire and fire people."

'Okay, I'm going to make the phone ring just once, and I want you to refrain from picking up. Bite the towel if you have to.

Today's love

'This app is linked to my financial advisor and provides stimulated hand-holding when the market is down.'

"Why would I want to see anything that far away from my phone?"

"Maybe you need some kind of app to make it work."

Modern Narcissism

'... and finally, before tip-off, let's all be courteous and turn off our cell phones.'

I have an idea for a new app: It'll tell you what your dog is thinking. What? How? Through a sensor planted in the dog's collar. Every time it barks, whines or sighs, the sensor will beam an English translation to your phone. It'll either say "feed me," "walk me," "I need to potty," or "leave me alone," or a random combination of those. That sounds like the most useless app ever. It'll also shout "I'm running!" when the dog is running.

"The battle of Gettysburg? Uh. . . let me check my civil war app."

Even Superheroes Are Always On Their Phones