Apocalypse Strategist T-Shirts

'Which stocks should I invest in to profit from this 'Armageddon' you keep talking about?'

'Don't think of it as being a yes man, think of it as being an employed man.'

Frank and Ernest Celestial Accountants. How's the audit of the Bankrupt Universe, Inc. going, Ernie? At first I thought it was a personnel problem -- Halley's Comet shows up once every seventy-six years, the supernovas are a bunch of burnouts and of course planet Mercury only works eighty-eight days a year. But the real problem isn't personnel, it's corporate strategy! Strategy? What's wrong? Universe, Inc. thinks it can keep expanding and expanding forever and ever!

"As the new head coach, my first move will be to blow up the entire roster."

"It's a good show, but I'm pretty sure it's a limited series."

'Great! The world ended and I slept right through it!'

"Take me to your thought leader."

"I thought I was a hoarder, but it turns out I'm a prepper."

Prepper Dog

"One day she'll be a wonderful architect."

'Spock's expertise in M&A deal making was key to the formation of the Federation.'

"Damn. Totally mis-read that."

"I hear post apocalyptic trilogies are all the rage again."

The end is near.

'We have a strict dress code. Can't let you in without a straightjacket and tie.'

The End is Near art gallery opening.

"My first novel is a prequel of a sequel, it's about time travel."

The other day during the zombie apocalypse

The Future

doom.com

New York Gondolier

'We would like to visit with you about the possibility of expanding our franchise...'

Climate Change Contingency House

''Evening, Bob - the usual?'

"Honey, could you grab the Bible? I need to double-check something."

'My backup special...'

"I like to see a man who's prepared, Remson!"

'Everything these days is influenced by television.'

The final days of hair coloring

'Come back in a couple of days. Maybe something will have opened up.'

'I've been carrying these placards around for over twenty years! It's about time!'

"Actually, I will have fries with that."

'The end is near.'

'This isn't a BREAKTHROUGH, Colbert! This is a CIRCULAR REASONING! All you've done here is re-state our original objective.'

Hollywood ending.