Apocalypse Preparation Pillows

"I thought she was being shy. It turns out she's a doom-dayer!"

A sun opens its mouth to eat a burning Earth

Cheer up-things aren't so bad.....

Zombie Problems

The End is Nigh

"What the hell happened to this town?"

Prepper Dog

The Ambivalence of a Nice Day in February

"My next book? It will probably be about rising up and crushing humanity."

Judgment Day is coming next Monday. Repent. Now, hold on. How can I believe you when so many dire prophecies haven't come true? I sealed myself in a shelter twice in the late '60s, hid in the Appalachian Mountains a decade later. A huge bunching of Judgment Day visions in the late '80s led me to simply get a time share in the Colorado mountains … Getting out of town doesn't spare you Judgment Day. I don't think. Lemme double-check the clues in Marmaduke. Mostly I needed an excuse to get away. Th

Horsemen of the Apocalypse: Death, Pestilence, (Drugs) War, Famine.

"What, no day spa? And you call this a luxury bunker."

'Have you filed an environmental impact statement for this flood?'

How to survive the coming crash.

The other day during the zombie apocalypse

There's been lots of unexplained shaking and booming noises in the middle of the night - all over the world. Some thing earth's entered a part of space filled with meteors too big to burn up in our atmosphere. Others think governments are building a network of underground bases to save a select few from a coming apocalypse. A lot of people think the world's about to end, Susan. If it were anyone but you, I'd thinking this was a pickup line. For the first time in my life, all my favorite shows go

'No, Brian, an asteroid impact would never take us by surprise like it did the dinosaurs because we're highly intelligent and they were very stupid and dull-witted.'

Climate Change Contingency House

Goldfish Insurance: " We must insure against a deluge of BIBLICAL proportions. . ."

The final days of hair coloring

"Great! The world ended and I slept right through it!"

I survived end of the world after party.

'My backup special...'

"The asteroid will hit in 2032, but I’m prepared!"

'The end is near.'

"I've half a mind to protest."

'If the Mayan calendar is right, how should I back up my files?'

'I went in to get my mortgage renewed. I said: 'Make it for eight months and four days!'. . . Am I only the one who thinks the world ends in December?'

When he runs out of beans, Lou discovers that civilization was not, after all, destroyed on January 1, 2001.

"It's my life line in case the rapture happens, so I'm not left behind."

"Ambitions... to be proved wrong."

'The earth's protective magnetic field is weakening! The sun will incinerate us all!'

"The scariest part is knowing that someday something'll come along that will make us go, 'Even the spider mutants weren't this bad.' "

"Chief, I'd like a four-year sabbatical to prepare for the millennium."

Doomsdayers recycle pamphlets in case they are wrong.