Apes Gifts

'The other hand.'

Giant Ape assists man escaping a cuckolded husband.

"Now that's just low-down mean."

'Be honest... Did you use my deodorant?'

'They're finally taking me seriously.'

Giant ape eating human as advised by diet book

"Deal! I'll introduce you to Dian Fossey and you'll introduce me to Jane Goodall!"

"Lassie, go get help!" "Oh Timmy you idiot! Not again!"

No, you idiots, they don't include a "comments" section.

Shepherd and eurydice

"This is a lovely old song that tells of a young woman who leaves her cottage, and goes off to work. She arrives at her destination, and places some solid NHHS in a flask containing 0.50 atm ofammonia, and attempts to determine the pressures of ammonia and hydrogen sulide when equilibrium is reached."

Adult Courses. It's so hard keeping the information from different classes separate! I'm talking film history and psychology. I failed a test because I said a "psychopath" is the walkway Norman Bates took home. I also confused geography and aeronautics. I said the "great plains" are located at an Air Force testing base in the California desert. My worst nightmare was confusing the thinks ti learned in driver's education and statistics. But at least I now know it's driving where you must st

"In the first place, it isn't "maddening crowd.' It's 'madding crowd.' "

The Signing of tthe United States Constitution

"They say it takes 10,000 hours to perfect something- I guess I was a bit hasty throwing that together in 144."

"Bond James, Bond."

"To torture an insect or not to torture an insect, that is the question."

'He really wanted to get into the zombie role, so he became a Meth-Head actor.'

'I remember when you used to look for answers using your astute powers of deduction.'

They hated me.

'My penmanship has really improved since I got a laser printer.'

"For the best picture not having won anything thereby being eliminated from this category..."

"That's the guy I hired to read Proust for me."

Mike (The Situation) is rumored to have written the original manuscript for his best-selling memoir entirely out of bronzer.

"It's almost 5 o'clock! Where the hell is my vodka app?!"

Copycats

Blue Stockings - Woman revealing herself as author

Bob encounters one of the bugs in the Jean Paul Sartre fan website.

"I built this tree house for my kids. But it's so private, I've decided to use it as my home office."

"Too bad about old Ainsworth. Published and published, but perished all the same."

Showbiz Awards

Hey, calm down --- Now, what did you say again?

"After years of cartoon rejections, Bill stooped to trying a little shameless product placement."

"These aren’t the droids you’re looking for."

It soon became apparent that the vicar was an undercover journalist.