Anxious Relative Pillows

'I'm sorry, but I haven't understood a word you've babbled since I turned left on red.'

'Who wants to be examined first?'

Fear of news.

'I guess you've noticed that most of these trespasses are reruns.'

"No monsters under this bed! After I cleaned there's no room."

"The economy doesn’t make me half as nervous as my kids do."

'No, you haven't missed much. Pretty well everyone called in sick.'

"I wish school was more like TV."

"It belonged to my great... great creepy Uncle Edgar."

"Patient. . . seems. . . reluctant. . . to get his. . . prostate. . . checked. . ."

Tunnel of Anxiety

"Remember, Joey, Life is a good preparation for stocks -- lots of ups and downs."

"Feel free to imagine you might have any of the conditions you read about in the magazines."

"It's just another birthday. . ."

A Spooked Pumpkin.

"Of course I'm a nervous wreck. I'm man's best friend! Who can take that kind of pressure?"

'Sir, a distant relative to see you.'

"This is your great second cousin Ignacio 'Nacho' Quesada."

"Have you considered spinal fusion?"

"Okay! I'm letting go! Just stay straight! Do not get hurt! Your mother will never forgive me!!"

Dentistry jokes.

Another restraining order. This was the last time he'd try to plan a family reunion.

'If the ECG isn't broken then we have problem'

'Make sure you stay in the shallow end.'

"Let me remind you, Waterman, you're only a distant relative!"

'I want to see a doctor who understands that I don't want to see him.'

"Tell me if this hurts."

The Anxious School Drop Off

Father afraid of daughters VAT inspector boyfriend

"Are there any careers where I won't get replaced by an app?"

Dice Headphones

"Do you have a card for the second step mother of my third wife's brother on her cousins side?"

"We hate being stuck indoors because of seasonal allergies, so it's a relief when we can blame it on a dangerous fugitive."

'I believe that laughter is the best medicine. Now, if you'll bend over, Mr. Happy will perform your prostate exam.'