Anxiety Reliever T-Shirts

Overeaters anonymous meeting today at 5:00.

"I need a gap year."

'We can't determine if you're telling the truth, but you should have a doctor check your pressure.'

'Take it easy, you're a cow. They love cow humor.'

"Now, you may feel a little pressure..."

'What sort of mission statement is that?'

"Okay, now breathe another sigh of relief."

'Yes, I know there's a deadline on this project.'

Support group therapy for male black widow spiders.

"Nervous about this morning's presentation?"

Fight or Flight

'I request an postponement, Your Honor -- I have to study for my bar exams.'

Mind-Fullness

"I remember when we first met you were an exhausted young doctor! Now you're an exhausted middle-aged doctor!"

'Calling Tech Support does NOT count as one of my wishes!'

"Day 4,261... I don’t know how much longer I can survive. Still no signs of civilization. Food is scarce and I fear the wound on my ankle is infected. Still, all this pales in comparison to the horror of having to be anywhere at any particular time."

Fittd shēt

That midnight hour when fleeting memories come home to roost.

Nervous Oral Testing

Meat Grinder

'Can you see what's causing the hold up?'

Tossing computer into canyon.

'We're all out of flu vaccine - how about something for anxiety...?'

"You're hired. Now, I'll show you your desk, the break room, and the dented wall you're allowed to beat your head against."

"Have you ever thought of just knocking this 'half-empty glass' OFF the counter?"

I've decided to shift down a few gears.'

"I reap and I reap and it's like he doesn't even notice."

Couples Massage: "Did you remember the body oil?"

"Your brow is definitely more furrowed than it used to be!"

'All we can do is hope for identity theft.'

'Why so tense? First appraisal meeting?'

'Now there's a vet that needs a holiday,'

'What do you mean I don't take time to smell the flowers?'

STRIP Hambone: Workers help is a hindrance

"I know — but he was nervous and his support dog didn’t seem to mind."