Anxiety Alleviator T-Shirts

"The longer I work here, the bigger my stress ball needs to be".

"Okay, now breathe another sigh of relief."

Dealing With Nervous Patients Was Always A Present

'I'm worried about my breathing.'

'Is it okay if I'm represented by counsel on open-school night?'

Arms-race-phobia.

"Tell me why you think people are out to get you."

When you get worried and you can't sleep. . .

"I'd hate to be hooked up to that thing."

Dentist's office - man has skull with missing teeth

"Sometimes I get a little freaked out when I think about who's been touching this keyboard recently."

'We finally got an anti-theft safe for all of our most valuable curios. . . so if you want to view them, just ask Burl or me.'

"Of course it was good, Milton. . . But the best part is it took my mind off the condition the country is in for nearly twenty minutes!"

Nobody ever listens to what I say phobia.

'Don't worry about your heart - it will last you till the end of your days. . .!'

Rudy, have a seat. I need a word with you. Uh oh. Whenever you use that tone of voice, it means bad news is coming. Are you firing me? Don't panic. Have a seat. Dead man walking!

Larry's Lawnmower Service. Relax, he comes in every spring to get his blade sharpened.

'What sort of mission statement is that?'

'Yes, I know there's a deadline on this project.'

Support group therapy for male black widow spiders.

'I request an postponement, Your Honor -- I have to study for my bar exams.'

Fight or Flight

"Nervous about this morning's presentation?"

Mind-Fullness

'Calling Tech Support does NOT count as one of my wishes!'

"I remember when we first met you were an exhausted young doctor! Now you're an exhausted middle-aged doctor!"

Fittd shēt

That midnight hour when fleeting memories come home to roost.

"Day 4,261... I don’t know how much longer I can survive. Still no signs of civilization. Food is scarce and I fear the wound on my ankle is infected. Still, all this pales in comparison to the horror of having to be anywhere at any particular time."

'Can you see what's causing the hold up?'

Meat Grinder

Nervous Oral Testing

Tossing computer into canyon.

'We're all out of flu vaccine - how about something for anxiety...?'

"I reap and I reap and it's like he doesn't even notice."