Anxiety Laughter Seeker Pillows

'I'm sure I left the gas on!'

Sympathetic nursing will work wonders

Bad fake tan day.

"That'll be five bucks."

"I used to drink to forget. Now, age-related, short-term memory loss takes care of that for me."

"Just because we're hyenas doesn't mean we always have to get Laughing Cow cheese."

"Don't you just hate restaurants that make you feel rushed?"

"Tom, I’d like you to meet Chris. Chris is better than you."

"Well, sure. We could hire some Temps, but they only live about ten days."

"What did Jesus order?"

"I'm not a doctor, but I don't think the problem is with your bladder, Bob."

'Ben just fired my ten guage goose gun. He should be coming back this way any minute now.'

'No Fred, this one is one me!'

"Projectile hairballing."

'Do years 4, 5 and 6 cover the other foot?'

Drunk Barber

"Why don't I clang some utensils, make 3 grilled cheese sandwiches and we call it an early night?"

he used to belong to a cartoonist

"Hey! Get back here!"

'When Johhny told everyone he was going to be a comedian they all laughed...'

'Because I'm so sick of those movies, now go get me a romantic comedy.'

"You'll have to excuse my date. He spontaneously combusts from time to time."

'Ha, ha! But seriously folks...'

"I've always wanted to do this - 'knock, knock...who's there?'"

Football heads...

Bald Man Overcomb

"Ok. . . who added the yellow?"

'I don't understand. Why do you want to have your arms extended?'

'He's not in now. This is his secwatawy.'

"Will you stop comparing me to your mum!"

Comedy Store - Canned Laughter delivery.