Antisocial Aficionado Pillows

"I miss avoiding people."

"It's lonely here at the top. Thank goodness I've never been a people person."

"Portrait of a Lady"

"Don't worry, Ref, just shock, it's his first save all season."

Oscar would laugh whenever he recalled his empty existence before golf.

"Good game, good game, nice game, namaste, good game, nice game ..."

'Fancy a game of five-a-side, boys?'

'He's got classic form, but if he doesn't improve his grades he won't get into college. He doesn't think.'

'When I'm not thinking about me, the Giants, the Knicks or the Yankees, I'm thinking about us.'

Why moms make bad refs.

"And now, since our local teams really stink, here are scores for actual good teams around the country that you might want to root for."

'You haven't heard the best thing. . .no referees.'

The Harper Plays Cricket.

Cristiano Ronaldo

'He's missed six goals today. I bet he could kick himself.'

Joey Barton's red card wins Premiership League for Manchester City.

"I need to buy a faster fastball."

Thibaut Nicolas Marc Courtois

Football.

"Depressed, anxious, worried about the future we've had a great deal of this recently...I'd suggest you avoid watching England for a while."

'It took some doing, but we got your name on!'

'Yo, Corona! Pack your stuff! You've been traded.'

Fox hunting.

"Yes, it's a sports related injury. He dropped his bowling ball."

"It was your father's idea - He can't bear to miss a second of the game."

'Fantastic!Stupendous!Masterly!Mind blowing!Polished!Unbeatable!Amazing!Incredible! Out of this world!...a performance that's left me speechless.'

"So it was a performance enhancing drug."

U.S. World Cup Frenzy

"Talk about old New York families—they bought their Warhols new!"

World Cup Fan.

'I'm dreading the World Cup . . .'

"China Ministry of State Security Royal Infiltration Training Unit"

"Would you like something by an over promoted high-price athlete or a nobody from Jersey?"

Soccer player being showered with toilet roles and a toilet.

'Oh, now that's a nice vase...'