Antiquities Gifts

British Occupation of Egypt set to continue.

'Coin collecting is the hobby of kings? I always thought it was torturing peasants.'

"No, it wasn't a sinkhole. Your old TV was so heavy the ground could no longer take the weight."

Southwark Fair.

Second hand furniture.

Turd - 'It's one of a kind.'

'My luck, I buy a bottle of wine from 450 B.C. and it's still five years from reaching maturity.'

Barcode on Ancient Greek Vase

'They look more up to date than the ones in your tool-box.'

'It's genuine 17th century satsuma - and the pair would have been worth ?14,000.'

Sundial Time

"Oh, wow! Is that stunning or what?" "Mid-century classic. Should be in a museum. Let's pee on it." "Totally."

Abandoning the computer for a typewriter.

"The previous tenant was a bit of a shut-in."

Fossil record player.

Dynasties - Ping, Ching, Ming.

'This seems like a good time to get rid of some of the king's junk.'

'Heirloom Tiffany Lamp Delivery. I Brake for Everything.'

'When I met him he was all bright and shiny - now he's a rust bucket.'

A hammer in his den enjoying a cigar and port with his collection of trophy thumbs above his head.

You had me at vintage.

'This is a wind-up, isn't it?'

Antiques

Riverboat 4 Square Hustlers

'It's an antique!'

"Midtown Vinyl. Vintage albums + EPs. Midtown Ink. Vintage books + newspapers."

The First Printed Bible

'No, you can't just watch the end of Bargainhunt!'

'I'd like to match this credenza.'

Estate Sale! All the stuff my kids said they don't want to inherit.

"Attention, everyone! I'd like to introduce the newest member of our family."

'We always like to give more bling for the buck.'

'This book is so rare it's never been published.'

'Who are you kidding? This is a wind-up isn't it!'

'Have you any idea just how little this is worth?'