Antiquetransporter Gifts

Ye Haul.

"No, it wasn't a sinkhole. Your old TV was so heavy the ground could no longer take the weight."

Southwark Fair.

Second hand furniture.

Turd - 'It's one of a kind.'

'They look more up to date than the ones in your tool-box.'

'It's genuine 17th century satsuma - and the pair would have been worth ?14,000.'

Sundial Time

Trilby - 'Je prong!'

"Oh, wow! Is that stunning or what?" "Mid-century classic. Should be in a museum. Let's pee on it." "Totally."

"The previous tenant was a bit of a shut-in."

Fossil record player.

'This seems like a good time to get rid of some of the king's junk.'

'Heirloom Tiffany Lamp Delivery. I Brake for Everything.'

You had me at vintage.

"There's more inside."

'This is a wind-up, isn't it?'

Antiques

'No, you can't just watch the end of Bargainhunt!'

'I'd like to match this credenza.'

'This is a letter opener, from the days before faxes and email. I just sold it online after I listed it as a vintage communication device.'

The First Printed Bible

Estate Sale! All the stuff my kids said they don't want to inherit.

Stone Age women were less happy than men at the arrival of the iron age: Look what I've invented just for you darling.

"Attention, everyone! I'd like to introduce the newest member of our family."

Dinner at the Jolly Sandboys (opening to Ch 19)

'We always like to give more bling for the buck.'

'This book is so rare it's never been published.'

'Have you any idea just how little this is worth?'

'My old Nehru suit! And in a pocket there's still a bottle of aftershave lotion from the glove box of my '55 Nash Rambler.'

A mummy, in police tape, chases a police officer.

'Who are you kidding? This is a wind-up isn't it!'

Ye Old Cafe: No Coffee Today - Sore Arm!

Clock and Watch Shop: Second-Hand Clocks and Minute-Hand Clocks.

Telephone line ends up buried in the ground with a headstone.