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Mr. Swiveller seeks to gain attention

"No, it wasn't a sinkhole. Your old TV was so heavy the ground could no longer take the weight."

Two women wearing identical dresses head toward exchange window at department store.

Southwark Fair.

Second hand furniture.

"Do you have any of those books that understand men?"

Turd - 'It's one of a kind.'

'They look more up to date than the ones in your tool-box.'

'It's genuine 17th century satsuma - and the pair would have been worth ?14,000.'

The practical psychopath

Sundial Time

Trilby - 'Je prong!'

"Oh, wow! Is that stunning or what?" "Mid-century classic. Should be in a museum. Let's pee on it." "Totally."

"Never mind, Harry. Just remember, the 'Saturday Review' loved it."

'Heirloom Tiffany Lamp Delivery. I Brake for Everything.'

"The previous tenant was a bit of a shut-in."

'This seems like a good time to get rid of some of the king's junk.'

Fossil record player.

You had me at vintage.

Myths and legends...

"It's felt to be his most thought provoking work."

'This is a wind-up, isn't it?'

Antiques

"Some fitting room. Nothing fits!"

'I'd like to match this credenza.'

'This is a letter opener, from the days before faxes and email. I just sold it online after I listed it as a vintage communication device.'

'No, you can't just watch the end of Bargainhunt!'

Man browsing books see couple kissing in romance section of book store.

"Midtown Vinyl. Vintage albums + EPs. Midtown Ink. Vintage books + newspapers."

The First Printed Bible

"Attention, everyone! I'd like to introduce the newest member of our family."

'We always like to give more bling for the buck.'

'This book is so rare it's never been published.'

A mummy, in police tape, chases a police officer.