Antique Car Aficionado T-Shirts

'What are those brown marks?' - 'The original rust.'

This one looks as if it's survived the chrome age.

The Ray Bradbury classic, 'The Car Alarm.'

"This is my new country song I wrote about my self-driving truck leaving me..."

"I used to love power, but now I'm more interested in mileage."

Long before the GPS, traveling humans found their way around by using an Atlas.

"What old school? This is my life."

"I'd like a new tire for my 1976 Chevy Chevette."

Excess Baggage: In the old days folks called 2 weeks with 4 kids in a non-air conditioned car a vacation.

"Do you buy cars here?"

'This is a nice car Mr...did you have it from new?'

It's great for pulling the birds!

Route 666

Once upon a time and a half. Buick and the Beast.

"So this is what you want? This is why after school, almost every day, you spend all your extra free time working at the auto store?"

'If he's only five years old, how come he knows the words to 'See the USA in your Chevrolet'?'

'A 50's vintage automobile...a billiards room. YOu, my firend, have got it all.'

Classic Autos: We have muscle cars for weaklings!

"2 for 1 special: Clean, polish, buff, seal"

'My old Nehru suit! And in a pocket there's still a bottle of aftershave lotion from the glove box of my '55 Nash Rambler.'

Dave's Discount Auto Repair...only an arm or a leg, not both!

"This car is a retro classic. Instead of a USB outlet there's a cigarette lighter."

Smile

'Mom, dad's toasting the new year with the car again!'

"You bought a 1964 Chevy ragtop Impala?!"

'Like the 'Cobra' and the 'Viper', my car is named for a snake too - the 'Rattler'.'

Tune up $90. Tinker $20.

The American Nightmare.

"The major obstacle to your big dream...is your tiny wallet."

"Ladies! Ladies! Do you wanna roll my Mercedes..."

"It'll need a carburettor transplant, a right wing panel augmentation, and an engine oil transfusion... Maybe you should consider euthanasia."

A train's dining car is a diner.

Tyre speaking to psychiatrist: 'I've been under a lot of pressure.'

"I think my dad really, really cares about me."

"I'm charging you with texting and driving."