Antique Auto Buff Gifts

Early Crank Car Phones.

"I hear you bought a new classic car."

"We're airship people, not mega-airship people."

"I'd like a new tire for my 1976 Chevy Chevette."

Men's fragrances...

'This is a nice car Mr...did you have it from new?'

'Those are all highway miles. The previous owner was a pharmaceutical sales rep.'

'...and, of course you get a company car.'

"I'm glad I don't have to put gas in it. the downside is that it takes a lot of time to put 3,000 AA batteries in it."

22. Being tireless is good trait to have in most jobs, but not when you're working on a pit crew.

Fast Lane. cars Like yours.

Teddy Boys' Picnic

'We've found the problem...'

"This new car is so smart, it wrote its own AUTObiography."

Democracy for Hire

Restored antique carriage in A.D. 2500

Elwood 'I Can Fix This Myself' McGrunzen

'Are you sure we're on the right track?'

Clown shows his car to a clown mechanic, saying: 'She's running just great, could you take a look at her?'

How's my abducting?

The driverless car

Internal Combustion.

A production line adds condiments to cars

Traffic Jam.

'Zero to sixty in three days.'

Policeman to driver; 'You gotta be kidding. Your name is actually Anna Nicole Smith?'

Used Cars. Spot. It seats six comfortably -- Of course, only four of them can stick their heads out the window.

'The doctors just install the artificial heart. We at Al's garage do the maintenance.'

"This year's model makes everything before it look like garbage." "I'm looking for a used car." "Last year's model is destined to become a classic!"

'I could pop the hood to take a look, but that would break the manufacturer's seal and void your warranty.'

'I didn't know these cars had such a large tank.'

"When one door closes, another one opens."

Death helps with a broken down Hearse

It's a great invention, but I can't figure out where to put the little hula dancer.

Test dummies in car, "Oh my god dave, look out for that wall!"