Anticlimax Appreciator Gifts

"Spoiler alert - it's Captain's Savory Fish Shreds again."

"I think I see it, guys!" "That's a rock." "Look! A dead snake." "Here's an old balloon... I think!" "World's smallest ball of twine."

"Now, I'm ready for summer."

"Big n' tall" "Small n' long"

Final words on gravestones.

"You think you hate me now, but just wait until I'm old and a burden to you."

"My kid could do that."

'Good work Jenkins Whisting the National anthem Genius'

Scot holding a heart.

"It's a pizza leaflet..."

Teenage Shakespeare

'Ocean sounds won't be heard, so that we may bring you a paid commercial program on offshore investment opportunities.'

"We live so far away that the postman posts our mail to us."

"But first, our national anthem."

"Lost his first hat about nine months ago. Really tore him up too."

'Forget it, Sister, Jessica -- Notre Dame doesn't need cheerleaders!'

"Seriously, Ice-Skating? You want to try out Ice-Skating?!"

The Hot Air Sports Club AGM

"I just love your use of lying"

"And now baritone Robert Winkley will sing, with no apparent effort, 'The Star-Spangled Banner.'"

'Can I come in for a bit? It's flipping freezing out here!'

"Hey, gang! Before this blast gets under way, would you all please stand for Whitney Houston's rendition of our national anthem?"

"I don't know a damn thing about art, but my back hasn't felt this good in years."

Perpetual Motion.

"If you don't wish to hear the match result look away now."

"Enjoy your youth. Soon you'll be an old cynic like me with nothing worth barking at."

The Badlands! A dry and deserted landscape where deadly rattlesnakes and packs of sharp-toothes coyotes roam the night looking for prey. And also, Fifi.

'Gee, I wish I'd said that.'

Trainspotter spotting: 'Gosh! A type 406 with original thermos.'

"If you must be a Francophile, could you lose the flag and just play the Marseillaise?"

"...and this is my better half...!"

Abstract Expressionism: You'll hate at least one.

"With all that tinkering do you really save time?"