Anticipation Ace Pillows

"If you do not wish to know the results look away now..."

Failure/Due Diligence

Whack-a-molecule

"It seems like only yesterday that Dad told me I'll be an adult before I know it."

The AdRams Family no.13 - Exams

'They're only interested in computer generated mammoths.' (Theatrical Agent).

'Are you done yet?'

"Only four more weeks before school is out...and then we're free for the time of our lives!"

Prepper Dog

"I'm recommending more video games. I'm worried about his hand eye coordination."

'I spent today with out spindoctor, and boy, am I dizzy.'

"Knowing two languages is sure handy when telemarketers call."

Life Is Just A Game

'Do you offer transcend dental medication?'

'No, Brian, an asteroid impact would never take us by surprise like it did the dinosaurs because we're highly intelligent and they were very stupid and dull-witted.'

Politician with lots of address books

"You're closer. You get it."

"I've half a mind to protest."

'I went in to get my mortgage renewed. I said: 'Make it for eight months and four days!'. . . Am I only the one who thinks the world ends in December?'

Training for Emergency Broadcast System workers

Whac-a-Virus.

'Ferguson always was an overachiever.'

"If you don't wish to hear the match result look away now."

Wordplay: Mediator.

Doomsdayers recycle pamphlets in case they are wrong.

You're on, caller. What's your problem? My baby won't stop crying. How do I get her to stop? What do you mean, "get her to stop"? Your baby's a human being and she already has things she wants to tell you. Crying is the only language she knows. Just hold her, tell her "I hear you" ... ... AND GROW A THICKER SKIN! BABY TEARS AREN'T LITTLE GRENADES, LOSER! I wish she'd just text me like everyone else.

"We're still pre-rich."

Suspense

"My email is down, so if you need to communicate with me, use this."

Speeding in a video game

The apocalypse everyone has feared is finally here. Hi, I'm Theron Heir. I write Rudy Park. That's it? A scrawny guy in flip-flops and bermuda shorts, wearing a man-purse? Don't provoke him. Anything can be in that man-purse. I would think the apocalypse would be taller.

"Anticipation. Anticipation. Anticipation. Anticipation. Yee haw! Nostalgia. Nostalgia. Nostalgia. Old age. Shoot."

The End Is Near.

The split end is near.

'Bugger!'