Anti-snob Sentiment Gifts

'Brand X, the wine for those with indiscriminate taste.'

"Vintage? What would you like it to be?"

Restaurant Francais: All you can pronounce £30.

"It was a holiday I'll never forget...I saw life in the raw!"

'As Chuck's definition of terroir dragged past the 20-minute mark, Suzy concluded, the longer the explanation, the less likely you know what the word means.'

'We're out of earshot now, so you can drop the phoney, Oxbridge accent.'

Man with wine glass face looks unhappy.

I'm getting an ample full taste... I'm getting whimsical... I'm getting 'red'

"Everybody comfortable? Got what they want? Know their place?"

"I know you've been waiting a long time, but the Pearls were here before you."

'It's first flush Darjeeling darling!'

Champagne at the hunt

The simultaneous development of dining and pomposity.

"It's a postmodern mosaic, almost lyrical in its undercurrent." "My five-year-old will be happy to hear that."

"I believe this is one of Rembrandt's earliest selfies."

"Hints of migrant workers on the nose."

'New money or old money?'

"It's all good – but some of it is better."

"C'mon dude, these are not your people."

"I don't wanna 'adult' today."

Difference between regular and French onion soup? "When I serve the French onion soup, I sneer."

"I love craft beer! It's opened an exciting new world of snobbery for me."

"Nope, no need to smell the cork."

'He's a mixed breed.'

'That's quite a bit you're inheriting. I suppose you realize this will force you to start learning about wine.'

David Cameron Parenting Classes: 'After registering them for Eton the next most important thing is selecting the right nanny!'

"I'm enrolled in a total immersion wine class."

"It's our latest objet d'art, of course we can't use it!"

"I keep asking you for ideas, Hibblemeyer, and you keep drawing blanks."

"We spent the summer on the Côte de Jersey."

"Of course, it's a very early Rembrandt."

Ned Thompson, unpretentious wine taster.

"It's a couch, not a settee, you posh git!"

" ..graduated with honours, great job, beautiful wife, great kids.. Sure we've all got a sad story to tell."

"Do you have anything fit for a King?"