Anti-platitudes Advocate Pillows

"Get angry and go apes**t."

Hate Platforms

Sign on desk reads: 'Thanks for not wishing me a nice day.'

'The sole reason I haven't talked to my wife for five years, is that I was too polite to interrupt her...'

"Discussion topic: Is our society becoming less civil and more violent?"

"You say we atheists are going to Hell? Look at all the f**ks we give... Go ahead... Look at them all."

A Truism's Journey

'According to the blood tests, x-rays and EKG... You're fat.'

"It's amazing how far you can go with a positive attitude."

GAP. GAP. NO GAP.

'The Polite Lions' - a new sim game - "We've already got chairs, thank you."

Tunnel of Love Just Friends.

Cash Bombs

I've got a problem – with me. Counseling costs extra. I always hated BMW owners. But one day I woke up and realized I drive a Saab. People who vacation in the Hamptons give me hives, but I've got a summer spot in Santa Cruz. I protested against big corporate oil companies … wearing a North Face jacket and Nike high tops! Don't you realize what I've become? I'm an upwardly mobile hippy! Death to the huppy. Hates fancy coffee drinks, loves soy milk.

'It looks pretty flimsy, but I'm a gentleman: After you dear...'

'Hope I die before I'm reduced to advertising car insurance!'

Live, Love, Laugh, Loathe.

"Can we not argue in public? Buzz me up and let's discuss this calmly."

Back in the old days, when mob rule etiquette counted for something.

How the US Succeeded in Afghanistan

Be polite to your acupuncturist at all times. A basic life lesson hard learned.

'Don't ask for anything.'

Piece of dove.

I'm BAD deal with it

The last ever war artist.

"Your present state is caused by a hypersensitivity to existentialist thought. I'm recommending mega-doses of pragmatism as a therapeutic counteractive."

Give peace a chance: 'It's been done.'

"I will never read that book, and I'm eagerly waiting to avoid the movie."

Bad Santa

Americans: We Rule the World

Make love and not war

"...Kowalski moved that we all yell for help, skidmore seconded the motion and that's where we stand."

War

"Joe's trying to get around the smoking ban."

'What's the one little word you've forgotten?'