Anti-oscars Club Member Pillows

"Dear diary...Well at least I'm not having to watch the Oscars."

"Thanks to the Oscars, we're going to be the hottest finger food this season."

"For the best picture not having won anything thereby being eliminated from this category..."

'I hate Mondays.'

Movie Awards. Winner. It's been a big night for Ernie! He won three times at the movie-set caterer awards! On one set he made a healthy, refreshing beverage that received rave reviews from the cast and crew. He won the "best pitcher" award for it. Did they say he won for best costumes? No, his dressings won. His sticky buns won also. For "best leading roll" performance, right? No, for best "cinnamontography"!

"We need to make it through at least one movie, so we have something to root for during the Oscars."

'... and the winner for 'The Noisiest Picture of the Year' is...'

"OK, stop me if you've never heard this before!"

Tom Hanks

"Not fair! Being really into movies is my thing!"

'Nine national treasures in one film! Start writing your Oscar speech, darling.'

May I have the envelope, please?

You're on, caller. What's your problem?! The Oscars were so very, very boring. You decided to sit in front of your tv for four hours watching rich people give themselves awards. YOU DON'T DESERVE TO BE ENTERTAINED, LOSER! They're coming out with a new show called "Watching Celebrities Cash Their Checks." You'd probably enjoy that. Get professionally berated at asksadie@rudypark.com.

"Did you know that the average mainstream news portal devotes more space to the oscar in a day than to climate change coverage in the entire year?"

"And the award for Best Product Placement in a Domestic or Foreign Film goes to..."

Oscars 2024

"Well, you can't say they didn't warn us."

"What next?" "Don't tell me."

Oscars

The Academy began to regret awarding the Oscar to Destructo.

Ellen Page

"This should be interesting. . . they're giving an acting award for best political lie. . ."

Will Smith's Oscar

"And the award for the best interruption of an oscar speech goes to...The woodwinds."

"I'm very proud. Someone I've been stalking has been nominated for an Academy Award."

"And the Oscar for best wardrobe in a film based on a 17th century picaresque novel goes to..."

Things can only get worse...

This way to Utopia. . . No cell or wifi reception here.

'And the Oscar for best picture goes to . . . nobody!! They were all crap this year!'

Family Tree DNA Test

No atheists in Heaven.

The Antisocial Social club - new members not welcome.

"I consider myself to be a counterproductive member of society."

'Don't be a fool, Kevin! How do you know that he's a certified teaching pro?'

'How do I know you're legit?'