Anti-materialist Pillows

An Anarchist's Christmas

The Anti-Materialist

I HATE STUFF

'You know what I hate? The commercialization of Christmas. There's just too much emphasis on the buying of gifts. . .'

Desk plaques: 'Money isn't everything' '...Which makes it no less awesome in my opinion.'

"I shop, therefore I am."

Coming Soon! More Stuff You Could Live Without!

Man burning his tie.

"You cheap shit! Why can't we have a designer divorce?"

Capitalism: Creates, Jobs & Wealth.

"I'll take new members any way I can get them."

"Well, what would YOU like for Christmas?"

'And remember: just hold up this little green paper, and they will do whatever you want.'

Assange Among Friends

"Not only is the grass greener, but check out that Mercedes!"

We just assumed everyone knew they couldn't take it with them.

"And I suppose if your friends all jumped off a cliff you'd follow right along?"

New Gods

'Consumer Society'

"Honestly, Kate—can you picture us in a shopping mall?"

'Shallow, so you think I'm shallow do you? Just because I happen to think my career is important, that my car matters and that clothes make a difference.'

Occupy everything!

You quit your job writing fake customer reviews online? Back to poverty. I couldn't stomach writing things that I didn't believe. I'd rather sit here and freeload coffee and whistle at babes than do some job that entails compromising my core values. I've spent a lifetime living on the fringes of life because I've refused to play the game. No managing up, no lying, no telling people what they want to hear. No suggesting to a women you might marry her if such a promise could lead to certain pleasu

"Good morning, Mrs. Kiley."

Consumerism junkie.

Other Patron Saints of Christmas

"Sometimes I think he just doesn't understand the whole hive-mind thing."

'Yo, man! Actually, I'm a revolutionary! In protest against society I invested in health food stores... Accidentally, I became stinking rich with that...'

"Never mind."

Man in cell phone shop - 'Do you have a phone that just phones?'

Ye Olde Book Shoppe

Closed. Due to there being enough crap in the world!

Are you ever worried people will see all the stuff you put online? Not at all … because I don't put anything online. I'm not on Facebook, I'm not on Twitter, and I conduct all my business in person so they can be charmed by the twinkle in my mustache. You are looking at a man who's totally off the grid, little buddy. It's like talking to a Neanderthal. I also shave with a razor-sharp sliver of granite my grandfather bequeathed unto me.

"For Gladys it's not the thought that counts, it's the size of the gift."

I'm so sick of 2017, Randy. What? It's still 2016. I know. But everyone's saying how horrible 2016 is and how they can't wait for it to be over. I don't want to be part of the herd, I want to be a trendsetter. There are better ways to be a trendsetter, little buddy. #hashtag-2017-stinks.