Anti-doping Agents Gifts

"Um...David, a word if we may."

Doping in Cycling.

"It's true: no more burpees."

"When was the last time you exercised something other than a purchase option?"

"You need to lose 20 cable channels."

'The doctor said you need more exercise, so I've hidden the remote control.'

'I tried running once, but I kept spilling my drink.'

'... And that's where I'm seeking planning permission to build a secret uranium enrichment plant...'

'If God had wanted me to touch my toes, he would have put them closer to my hands!'

"Will I still be able to not exercise?"

'The FDA now requires that we have an actor show you what kinds of side effects you might experience.'

'You need more excercize. But I'm drinking as fast as I can.'

"I considered riding my bike to work until I realized it involved pedaling and sweat."

The Andrews brothers had an ongoing competition of seeing who could donate a pint of blood the fastest.

The doctor told my husband to be active, but the only exercise he gets is running around looking for the TV remote.

The Sedentary Dead.

"I can’t even find the motivation to quit my gym membership."

'Oh stop complaining, if it wasn't for the mosquitoes you wouldn't get any exercise at all!'

"I want you to drink more beer, eat more fatty foods and take less exercise."

"Okay, we've put on our exercise clothes. Now what?"

'His electric toothbrush has gone wrong - mind you, he could use the extra exercise.'

"I think we have an ant problem"

"Most men have a tankard, but oh no, not you."

'I don't need to exercise to lose weight. The odor in this locker room suppressed all my appetite.'

Doping

La Tour 2007.

Walkies.

Olympic Doping

'Well, as a matter of fact, I think you're a pinhead too!'

Ask Sadie. Dear Sadie, My husband hates to exercise since it makes him sweat. How do I tell him to shape up? Thanks, SV. *Actual reader question. Haven't you read the scientific research, lady? Exercise is one of the worst things you can do for you body. It leads to pain, sweating, muscle ache, weight loss. On the other hand, research also shows the great health value of yelling at your husband and telling him he's a lazy wretch! The science is divided on the question. One of the great joys of b

Gene doping in sport.

'Boy, I feel sorry for those poor chumps who have to run to catch the train every day!'

"Sure doc, I can eat healthy tasteless food and exercise until my lungs implode. Or, you can just inject some drain cleaner into my eyeball and save us both a lot of time and trouble."

"No, Fred didn't run a TV marathon - He watched a marathon on TV."

"A parent's note excusing you from gym is sufficient, Billy...you didn't need legal representation!"