Anti-doping Agents Gifts

"Um...David, a word if we may."

Doping in Cycling.

"It's true: no more burpees."

"When was the last time you exercised something other than a purchase option?"

"You need to lose 20 cable channels."

'The doctor said you need more exercise, so I've hidden the remote control.'

'I tried running once, but I kept spilling my drink.'

'If God had wanted me to touch my toes, he would have put them closer to my hands!'

'... And that's where I'm seeking planning permission to build a secret uranium enrichment plant...'

"Will I still be able to not exercise?"

'You need more excercize. But I'm drinking as fast as I can.'

"I considered riding my bike to work until I realized it involved pedaling and sweat."

The Sedentary Dead.

"I can’t even find the motivation to quit my gym membership."

The doctor told my husband to be active, but the only exercise he gets is running around looking for the TV remote.

'Oh stop complaining, if it wasn't for the mosquitoes you wouldn't get any exercise at all!'

"I think we have an ant problem"

"I want you to drink more beer, eat more fatty foods and take less exercise."

'His electric toothbrush has gone wrong - mind you, he could use the extra exercise.'

La Tour 2007.

Doping

"Most men have a tankard, but oh no, not you."

'I don't need to exercise to lose weight. The odor in this locker room suppressed all my appetite.'

Olympic Doping

'Boy, I feel sorry for those poor chumps who have to run to catch the train every day!'

Gene doping in sport.

"Sure doc, I can eat healthy tasteless food and exercise until my lungs implode. Or, you can just inject some drain cleaner into my eyeball and save us both a lot of time and trouble."

"No, Fred didn't run a TV marathon - He watched a marathon on TV."

'Just thinking about New Year's resolutions makes me tired.'

Adult attention deficit disorders (A.A.D.D.)

"Dancing with the liquidators."