Anti-dog Activist Gifts

'You stated on your resume that you're selfish, independent, and you hate dogs. I think you and I are going to get on wonderfully.'

"How long will we, the descendants of wolves, be content with table scraps and belly rubs?"

"When is my next parole hearing?"

"Think you're pretty manly, eh? OK, put the gun down and let's have a fair fight."

"You mustn't pull the cat's tail so hard it tugs the head inside, sweetie!"

What do you mean you prefer the sound of the sign of the right?! What part of 'either way we're dead' do you not understand?

"Most of these pelts were suicides."

"Wait—did you procure that worm humanely?"

"We're suing you under equal opportunities legislation for failure to represent our rights"

"Tallyho!"

'Is it guilt that when you eat us that we are no longer called pigs but bacon, pork chops or ham?'

"I have no thumbs."

'We don't want you poking around here any more!'

"What the heck? The humans are washing in our waterhole with soap!"

Yeah, I know what you're talking about: humans have an unhealthy interest in my horn too...

"Be kind"

Save the unicorn.

Save the whales. . . Save the pandas. . . Save the planet.

'Now, think hard about it: Do you want to be known as the one who ate the last Dodo?'

'I'm from P.E.T.A.. Are you the one who called about animal-rights abuses?'

"Cloning is an imperfect science."

"What do you suggest...the tuna fish or the peanut butter and jellyfish sandwich?"

"'Tis the story of a woeful refugee... ...whose plight has been forgotten. An admirable, amiable sort is he... but boy is he downtrodden. With courage of the kind you rarely see, he defended this land, when Redcoats invaded over land and sea, peck their knees and hands. And how did America repay this debt it owed its forest bird? Did you put our noble visage on the national seal as we would have preferred? No... You ate us. Just like the British did. I really think that it's the least you can do

"They've got me doing cosmetics research."

'I had no idea would be a choice.'

'I don't trust humans: Some times, they throw us bread, some other times, they shoot at us!'

'You see son, it's jobs like these that give us a bad name...'

"If anything else, it beats bending over!"

Dogs Aren't/Are Just For Christmas

"On second thought, just give me the ham and forget the roast beef."

A boy who loves cows/burgers

Pick Your Own Baby Lamb Chop

'I got a birdie, an eagle, and a lawsuit from animal rights activists.'

'I can't recommend the beef.'

Too many of my babies became coats, so I decided to increase security...