Animal Actionist Gifts

'He's entering wildlife photographer of the year.'

It is important to give your dog opportunities to play with people.

"How long will we, the descendants of wolves, be content with table scraps and belly rubs?"

"When is my next parole hearing?"

"No, I like the plan. Just saying, have you ever done any actual tunnelling?"

Brian was very proud of his dog.

"Think you're pretty manly, eh? OK, put the gun down and let's have a fair fight."

'In school today, we learned about endangered species.'

"You mustn't pull the cat's tail so hard it tugs the head inside, sweetie!"

"Now they're referring to us as ecology nuts."

'What did one flea ask the other?' 'Shall we walk or take the dog?'

What do you mean you prefer the sound of the sign of the right?! What part of 'either way we're dead' do you not understand?

'I'm not abandoned. I'm a free agent.'

"Now our contestant will try to guess which of you is the very last individual of your species."

"Most of these pelts were suicides."

"Trust me, you're not ready!"

'Oh, it's a long, long time...From here to November...'

"With less ice these days this provides better camouflage."

"Wait—did you procure that worm humanely?"

"I just assumed that the whale we adopted would stay in the ocean."

'I know you're worried about Tibby, Mrs. Lutz, but we simply don't allow people to stay overnight with their pets.'

Cat and dog at a will reading.

"I feel like that I've been given a unique oppurtunity to speak out on issues."

I'm not saying I'm not a hound dog. I'm saying I'm not nothing but a hound dog.

"I have no thumbs."

Butterfly herders of the wild west.

dog vs UFO...

'Nothing impacts my lifestyle choices more than a veterinarian with a scale.'

'Is it guilt that when you eat us that we are no longer called pigs but bacon, pork chops or ham?'

'We don't want you poking around here any more!'

Armstrong, the only doctor covered in the new health plan you got me is a veterinarian! Beats no coverage. Yeah, if you're a parakeet. You're so cheap. You don't value me at all. You ingrate. I didn't have to give you health benefits. Lots of employers don't cover their animals. You mean workers. Stop your barking.

The Golfing Accident

Yeah, I know what you're talking about: humans have an unhealthy interest in my horn too...

'That'll teach the pesky python to be greedy and eat all my chickens!'

"Be kind"