Anti-digital Gifts

Buy on-line - Fill in form, Fill in form again, And again, Lose form, Fill-in form a few more times, Give up and go to shop...

"My granddaughter's first words to me were 'OK, Boomer.' I have no idea what that even means."

"I cancelled the cable, turned off the phone, shut down the internet. . . where the hell am I??"

The anti-social network: 'Hey Jeffrey...I need help setting up my dad's anti-social network.'

' I see Brad's playing his new video game again.'

'Print is Dead.'

'You can't avoid death...You can't avoid taxes...and you can't avoid having your name on computerized mailing lists.'

The Ungooglable Man

'Careful with this next patient. He's not very litigious but he is a prolific online reviewer.'

'Look, I just expect more from a muse.'

Unsocial Media

Sell me your souls and I'll make all cell phones and computers go away."

A businessman suffering from data overload.

'Here's trouble, it's the militant wing of the Philatelic Society!'

"Why would I upload my files to a computer?"

Man in cell phone shop - 'Do you have a phone that just phones?'

"When your computer is locked up, lady, you should call your computer's customer service, not a locksmith!"

"My life is one unending pop-up ad."

Technophobes Illustrated Dictionary - Digitally Mixed - Any drink stirred without the use of a spoon, swizzle stick or any other tool/utensil.

Ye Olde Book Shoppe

Computer Game Director.

"Just sitting here waiting for Facebook to go away."

"What?"

Prisoner of technology.

Mobile Bans

"He loves reading, hates digital technology, and cares for the planet, so has decided to go paperless."

'She is not Amish, we just wont buy her a cell phone.'

Peasant's emancipation.

"Don't worry. As soon as Junior learns enough words, he'll tell you how to work it."

'I take it you're not an advocate of social networking whilst shopping.'

TV Kill

"Join the 21st century, Dad...it's a laptop computer."