Anti-aging Curious Pillows

'So Victoria, what's your secret?'

"You're in perfect health and look half your age – I'm prescribing something to help you shut up about it."

"Eternally youthful complexion? Here's the deal. Never go out in the sun. Never eat dessert. And, for God's sake, don't smile."

Breast Height Chart

"Where do you remember last seeing your glasses?"

Do you think I'm sixty?

Middle Age: When you finally get your head together, and your body starts to fall apart!

Ed's receding hairline!

"Sometimes I wish I could just jump into the dryer and come out wrinkle-free!"

"At a certain point, I bring them back."

'Don't all look at me like that! What did you expect the face pack to do for me?'

'Of course she hasn't aged a bit. She's married to a plastic surgeon!'

Cosmetics. Helps get rid of crow's feet.

"We're the same age, but you look great! What's your secret?"

"In your 40s, hair starts growing everywhere except where it should."

'It looks like you're suffering from TMB... too many birthdays...'

'The aerobics will give you a more youthful appearance overall, but you need to see a podiatrist about your crows feet.'

'I can't make you younger...odometer tampering is against the law.'

'Great news, Methuselah Tests show you'll live to be 100!'

"I can Botox it, but I don’t want to freeze up my sixth chakra."

Dr. and Mrs. Steven Mueller.

'I have to be honest with you. I've been taking anti-aging nutrients for years. I'm 93 years old.'

'We're the same age, but you look great! What's your secret?'

"I've looked at their viewer profiles and if we watch this channel we'll be 20 years younger."

"What you have is very expensive to treat. Would you like me to diagnose you with something affordable?"

"Getting a Brazilian has been nothing like I expected."

"You'll see - when you get older, parts start to sag."

'If I knew it would mean all these hospital appointments, I'd never have got old!'

"I enjoy being old - my health always gives me something to talk about!"

'I don't eat organic foods. At my age I can use all the preservatives I can get.'

Gerontologist on the phone - 'Oh, you know ... same old, same old ... and how are things with you?'

Tragedy and Remedy.

"You don't have OCD or ADD. You have OLD."

Warning: Contents may settle over time.

"No matter how badly you have sinned, you don't have to worry about losing your coverage!"