Anti-aging Curious Pillows

'So Victoria, what's your secret?'

"You're in perfect health and look half your age – I'm prescribing something to help you shut up about it."

"Eternally youthful complexion? Here's the deal. Never go out in the sun. Never eat dessert. And, for God's sake, don't smile."

Breast Height Chart

Ed's receding hairline!

Do you think I'm sixty?

Middle Age: When you finally get your head together, and your body starts to fall apart!

"Sometimes I wish I could just jump into the dryer and come out wrinkle-free!"

"At a certain point, I bring them back."

'Don't all look at me like that! What did you expect the face pack to do for me?'

'Of course she hasn't aged a bit. She's married to a plastic surgeon!'

Cosmetics. Helps get rid of crow's feet.

"We're the same age, but you look great! What's your secret?"

'The aerobics will give you a more youthful appearance overall, but you need to see a podiatrist about your crows feet.'

'It looks like you're suffering from TMB... too many birthdays...'

Dr. and Mrs. Steven Mueller.

'Great news, Methuselah Tests show you'll live to be 100!'

'I can't make you younger...odometer tampering is against the law.'

"I can Botox it, but I don’t want to freeze up my sixth chakra."

"In your 40s, hair starts growing everywhere except where it should."

'I have to be honest with you. I've been taking anti-aging nutrients for years. I'm 93 years old.'

'We're the same age, but you look great! What's your secret?'

'If I knew it would mean all these hospital appointments, I'd never have got old!'

"I've looked at their viewer profiles and if we watch this channel we'll be 20 years younger."

"You'll see - when you get older, parts start to sag."

"What you have is very expensive to treat. Would you like me to diagnose you with something affordable?"

"I enjoy being old - my health always gives me something to talk about!"

"Getting a Brazilian has been nothing like I expected."

'I don't eat organic foods. At my age I can use all the preservatives I can get.'

Gerontologist on the phone - 'Oh, you know ... same old, same old ... and how are things with you?'

Tragedy and Remedy.

Warning: Contents may settle over time.

'Admit it, George-you're too old to chase after does.'