Antagonizer Of Common Wisdom Pillows

'Chaucer, the Pythagorean Theorem and fine beaujolais, you've got pedants.'

For some reason, "The Road Less Travelled" GPS package never really caught on...

"I cancelled the cable, turned off the phone, shut down the internet. . . where the hell am I??"

"Are you not thinking what I'm not thinking?"

"Dont believe anything those guys have told you. None of it. It's all B.S."

"Grandmom told me "the way to a man's heart is through his stomach." I told her that has medical malpractice written all over it!"

Sport, Political, Religious and New Yorker Cartoonist Gurus.

'All this knowledge going into my head, through my eyes and out the window to float forever in space.'

"Just one question...how on earth do I get down?!"

'The meaning of life??? How the hell should I know? Try Google.'

'I always answer their questions with a question - it drives them nuts!'

I'm Aging Gracefully...so SHUT UP!!!

"Recent studies now show that people who use the aphorism ‘whatever doesn’t kill you makes you stronger’ have compromised immune systems."

"But Mom said to ask YOU!"

After years of pointless therapy, Morris took up speleology and finally found himself.

"Dear Bad-Karma, to assist you at this busy time, I've drawn up a list of people you may have missed."

'Remember, my son -- the longest journey begins with a single slither.'

"'Meaning'? Hahahahaha..."

Wise Man Souvenir Stand.

'Just think of me as your life coach.'

"Anywhere that doesn't have TVs, computers, radios, ipods, cellphones or video games."

Two words, my friend...Yak dung.

Truth seeker seeking knowledge sees different levels of gurus.

'What do you mean, you found a loophole in Nirvana?'

A man seeking wisdom from a bee at the top of a mountain

"Live your life devoid of attachments."

'If I ever get my hands on that stupid career counselor....'

'I know right from wrong and that's been holding me back.'

'Why didn't you take the elevator?'

'Our material is great -- we just need a wider audience.'

"Why would I upload my files to a computer?"

"If you have to ask, you can't understand the answer."

'To begin with, my son, everything is illusory... Hey! --you gave me counterfeit money!'

"Of all the lazy, lowdown, deadbeat, pathetic losers you've ever met who had the most influence on you?"

"Do no harm not covered by your malpractice insurance."