Anniversary Celebrant T-Shirts

'Of course I remembered. What is the traditional gift for a 25th wedding anniversary - steak or lobster?'

'You remembered our anniversary!'

Uncle Mort, I've been at this cafe for 20 years. It's my anniversary. So you're still employed? Yeah, I mean, yeah, of course you know tha … No thanks to greedy corporate interests! They've moved jobs and cash offshore, avoided paying taxes, spurred public policy that destroys the middle class! My anniversary gift: Your spit. I yell because I care.

"We're celebrating our 25th anniversary, so separate checks."

'This is the 1927 Georges de Latour you bought us for our anniversary, son. Mom spruced it up nicely with orange soda and melon balls.'

'...gone! The remains of the iceberg that sank the Titanic, to...'

"This is where the party budget ran out."

"Lassie, go get help!" "Oh Timmy you idiot! Not again!"

Shepherd and eurydice

"It's amazing, Darlin', just how fast the kids grow up!"

'I wouldn't say this wine's name is long, but it's continued on the bottle next to it.'

"In the first place, it isn't "maddening crowd.' It's 'madding crowd.' "

Tartine

"I was with you right up to the cumin."

The Signing of tthe United States Constitution

Playing Fetch.

Killer Executive Suits.

You're my Mona Lisa.

"Soul searching? Yes, you could call it that."

"This place has the best happy hour."

Sure, he's a zombie but hey, it's nice to finally meet someone who is more interested in my brains than my body.

"Together ideas for couples" "Slap a sandwich together" "Put two and two together" "Pull themselves together" "Rub two sticks together" "Try to hold it together" "String a phrase together"

"M'lady, we’ve reached peak Brooklyn."

'So let me see if I've got it straight. It was a very large squirrel and your husband is a nut.'

"Now, were those friends of your Gettys or Gottis?"

In his younger days Spock was quite the comedian.

'That's it then - I'll take the slinky high-heeled cocktail number in a 5 and the everyday workshoe in a 7...'

Demure lady with gloves

"Think of it as twenty one in human years. I'll take a bourbon and toilet water."

"I said the males were 'evolving' – I didn't say they were 'maturing.'"

The Ray Bradbury classic, 'The Car Alarm.'

LAY ZEE FUK

Sloaney Pony.

"Where else in the world would you get such wonderful sunsets?"

"You can access me by saying simply 'Agnes.' It is not necessary to add 'dot com.' "