Animal Magnetism Enthusiasts Gifts

'The dog and cat followed me home, the bird flew in the window and the fish swam up the toilet. Obviously I have animal magnetism.'

Kangaroo mom to child, 'We're not going anywhere until you buckle-up, young man.'

'Yeah, I'm sorry to break it to you bud, that eating grass thing is a myth!'

"Better start moving towards shelter: the weather forecast is for rain this afternoon..."

"Hurry up, I'm hungry."

'Are you the genius who came up with the 'Alternative Payment' program?'

"We've done it Agnes. We're living the dream."

"Is your dog friendly?"

Penguin kid to parents: 'Big deal! You're grounding me!'

'My mother was a real bitch!'

'We were so attracted to each other - now we're just poles apart'

"I'm not concerned about us as long as there is nothing in the stimulus package for cats."

(Overachieving Dog) (Just get me the paper and let Mr. Rather go!)

Vets: 'That's funny, he was here a minute ago.'

'Hang on. Let's not get ahead of ourselves. Apparently that's not a good idea.'

Replacements for Extinct Animals

'A beaver wearing a mountie hat riding a moose! Still think we haven't crossed into Canada?'

Oh look, Marv - We're just in time for the running of the fools!

Psychaitry. Are you sure lying on my back is the best way to address my feelings of helplessness?

'The day has come.'

I love that new elephant smell.

'Looks like we've got ourselves another cow jacking.'

"Me, I've quit racing. I was very good at it, but I just couldn't hack the early training sessions..."

Polly Clinic.

"This has you as three feet tall but I don't see you as more than two and a half."

"...and if your friends jumped off a cliff, would you jump off a cliff?"

'No problem Mr. Billings, just drop your shorts and let me take a sniff around there.'

'C'Mon ladies, work that bovine!'

Magnet at scrapyard

'I think you're confusing self-loathing with lactose intolerance.'

What I'd really like to do, of course, is direct.

'Really? I've never met a banker before.'

'All this job requires is some mud-wallowing and snarling... I'd say you're overqualified.'

'Hank, Barry just said his first word: Dam!'

'There's another solicitor here. Do you wanna' handle this one?'